8 ways having a puppy is like having a newborn baby

It’s been more than a decade since our last-born child was a baby, but funnily enough, with the recent arrival of our puppy, Ted, I feel I’ve been thrust back into those heady newborn days. Fellow puppy owners, or those contemplating pet ownership – come discover the similarities between caring for skin and fur babies!

1. Sleep. What is it?

We’ve thankfully broken through the ‘waking during the night’ barrier but that doesn’t mean our guy likes to go to bed or sleep in past 5:30AM. And it’s not as easy as rocking a baby to sleep, gingerly placing him in his bed and escaping the room. Golden retrievers are heavy and don’t like to be wrapped. I jest. Kind of.

2. Relentless gushing

I can’t help it. If someone starts a conversation with me, I’ll squeal in delight and tell them I have a puppy. I’m also like any proud parent spamming everyone on Facebook and Instagram, flooding feeds with endless photos of fluff #sorrynotsorry.

3. Time wasting cuteness

The first week we had our puppy home, we did nothing but stare at him and soak up his sweet face, tiny paws and fluff. Dinners were quick fixes of toasted sandwiches and salads because frankly I was time poor, I had a puppy to look at.

4. Wee

There’s wee. So much wee. Given I was told it boils down to excitement for the most part, I’m near convinced ours is particularly leaky – you just have to touch him and he wees. Say hello, more wee. And crikey, be prepared if you pick him up. Accidents happen but boy, I’m kind of tired of mopping my floor day in, day out.

5. Poo

What goes in, goes in, and so much more comes out. Poo goes hand in hand with the aforementioned wee, but just like a newborn baby nappy, no one is particularly keen in coming forward to deal with it.

6. People flock to see the baby

It’s true. I come from a small town, which means that with a newborn baby in tow it takes you an hour to pick up your bread and milk after you say hello to all the locals and I can honestly say, it’s a very similar scenario with a puppy. People make a beeline for us, hands extended for a pat while firing questions of, ‘How old is he?’ ‘What breed? ‘Does he chew all the things? And stating the obvious, ‘Wowsers, he’s going to be BIG.’ Nod and smile, thanks for that.

7. Advice (solicited and otherwise)

Sage is everywhere I turn. Everyone has advice to give on everything from house training to exercising and manners. A lot of it is probably true, but given my pup barely listens to me, I’m not sure he’s going to take on everyone else’s suggestions just yet.

8. Buy all the things (regardless of if you need them or not)

Just like when you prepare for a human baby, you blindly buy all the things everyone says you will need for the new arrival. We have a swanky kennel and three stylish beds, yet the puppy still chooses the tiled floor. Fancy that.

So there it is, puppies and newborns are (sort of) the same but different – and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Now because I just know you’re eager to see (see point 2), here’s a snap of my gorgeous Ted and possibly the prettiest puppy paws you ever did see. #sorrynotsorry

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