11 Things I Miss about Parenting Small Children
Since hindsight can be sentimental, slightly sticky, and jelly-smeared
You don’t realize how magical the toddler years are until you no longer have them. It’s easy, when you’re juggling tantrums and mealtime chaos with your tiny human, to fantasize about quieter days. Then, those days came. You watch young mums playing in the park, but resist the urge to say the dreaded sentence: “Enjoy- it’s going so fast.”
I know, I know. When you’re struggling to get five hours of sleep and have to reheat the same cup for the third time, it isn’t something anyone wants. Now that my children are older, and have fully embraced teen-hood, I would be lying if I said that I didn’t wish for a little bit more of the chaotic, sticky, utterly cute season of small kids.
There are 11 things that I miss most about being a parent of young children. I only realized how much I missed them after they left.
1. The Hilarious Unfiltered Approach of Conversation
There is nothing that can prepare you for the sweetness of a child’s spontaneous interaction. Last week, the four-year-old child of my neighbor ran up to greet me without saying a word.
- She proudly clicked her fingers.
- She showed me her best tongue-rolling attempt.
- She finished with a “wink”. (Technically, a deliberate, slow blin.).
She then skipped off like a little performance artist. There were no pleasantries or awkwardness. Pure, unfiltered happiness.
I was reminded of how real and unscripted kids can be. No politeness just for the sake of politeness, no fake smiles or pretending. Just pure human expression. Compare this with the repeated “How are you? Good. You’ll be surprised at how much you enjoy the “How are you?” loop, which is a common adult conversation.
2. The Blessed Simplicity Of A 7:30 pm Bedtime
Remember when 7:30 p.m. was the time of peace? What time did your parents ‘ jobs officially end (with some luck)?
The evenings feel like an extension of the day now that I have teenagers in my house. They’re up until midnight, making “study snack” piles (read: chaos), watching YouTube videos or — I kid you not — taking a full-blown bath at 11:45 pm. Baths!
In the toddler years, there were protests at bedtime, but once they fell asleep, they were done. It was the perfect time to read, watch TV with the volume on low, or even just sit and enjoy the silence.
3. You Can Tell What They’re Doing because They’re in the Same Room.
The toddlers can be exhausting, but they are always right in front of you. They’re usually within five feet. You know that when they are quiet, they are probably drawing on the wall or putting Play-Doh in the DVD player. It’s annoying but manageable.
What about older kids? Silence is more alarming. Teenagers disappear into bedrooms with locked doors or encrypted chats and mysterious glows of screens. What are they doing? Who knows? You cannot hover, that’s called “helicopter parent”. You cannot p; obe, it is “invading the privacy of others.” You should just trust and let them go.
I miss the days when a fence surrounding the playground or a 5-point harness on the stroller made me feel that my child was protected from the outside world.
4. Social Circle Control
Oh, the power in choosing your child’s friend. You arrange playdates for your child’s friends when they are young. You get to socialize with other adults, the kids get a friend, and everyone is happy.
Now? Now? I don’t even know who their parents are, what their siblings look like, or what TikTok videos they watch. While it’s inevitable that friendships will develop away from you, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t worry.
It was comforting to know the children your child was bonding with and be able to casually vet their parents over a cup of tea.
5. Know the Parents of Your Friends
This is closely related to the previous point. Playdates are a great way to get the whole family involved when kids are young. You chat with and get to know other parents. You already have a contact number and a friendly relationship established, if your child forgets a toy or needs a lift.
If I need to call a parent, I must explain myself: “Hello, I am [name], the mum of [teenager name] …” Be prepared for suspicion or, worse, a voicemail in purgatory.
It’s a sudden shift from community to distance– and it hurts a little.
6. You Know Exactly What They’re Thinking
Toddlers can be transparent. Toddlers are transparent.
Teenagers are emotional ninjas. Then they ask you to drop them off at the mall. You’re not sure whether to duck or bake cookies.
They stop sharing, and their inner world becomes murky. Sometimes, I would trade a hundred years ‘ rolls for a toddler’s uninhibited declaration: “You are my best friend, mum.”
7. The Joy of Being A Human Armchair
I am embarrassed to admit that I often wished for my own space. I used to complain when a child would flop on my lap in the summer or hold me tight during a telephone call. What about now? I would give anything to once again be a couch.
To keep cool and reduce contact with my body, my middle child would curl up in a jellybean shape on top of me. It was adorable and thoughtful — but it’s no longer there.
It’s a miracle if I receive a hug in the sideways direction or an acknowledgement grunt. Physical affection disappears so slowly that you may not even notice until you realize one morning that no one is climbing into your bed to snuggle in the morning.
8. The Park Was Everything
When toddlers were young, they would often respond to “What shall we do today?” with the gleeful cry “Go to the Park!”
The park delivered: You didn’t require tickets, pa ln or money. The park was a great experience.
- Fresh air
- Physical Activity
- Social interaction
- Parental points to consider
Any suggestion that does not include Wi-Fi will be met with grunts and negotiating. Coordinating activities with teens can be like managing a boardroom full of reluctant CEOs. It’s a long way from the simple formula “slide, swing, ice cream” that would make a day perfect.
9. The Love Adult Attention
Children are eager to make connections with anyone. A toddler will tell you their age (“three and a half!”) and then launch into a 10-minute monologue on their dog, birthday, and breakfast.
However, teenagers have declared a conversational bankruptcy. Asking about their day will result in a shrug. Asking what they are doing will result in “Nothing”. Chill.”
I had never imagined I would miss the earnestness and passion of toddler chatter.
10. Magical Birthdays and Holidays
Yes, holidays with toddlers can be exhausting. They’re also filled with wonder. It’s hard to forget the excitement of a cake decorated with candles, Santa’s belief, or the sheer joy that comes from unwrapping new toys.
In the teenage years, birthdays often involve calculated cash requests, gift certificates, and little fanfare. Christmas is more about shopping apps and sleep-ins than stockings or stories.
I miss the early morning wake-ups,5 am5am, the glittercrafts,and the joyous squeals over bubble wands or plush animals.
11. You Could Tell Them to bathe, and They Would Do it
Maybe not willingly. At least you can. You can lift toddlers into the tub and wash behind their ears.
Try it with a 15-year-old. I dare you.
It’s part and parcel of growing up for teenagers to develop their hygiene routines, or lack thereof. This is a daily test of patience. I miss those little bodies, which fit in the bathtub, and who smelled of baby shampoo and bubble bath, and not sports socks or apathy.
Conclusion
It is difficult to raise small children. Nobody denies it. Sleep-deprived, emotionally strained, and covered in a sticky substance, you’re constantly covered. Within the chaos, there’s a fleeting innocence, joy, and connection.
Teenagers can bring different joys – deeper conversations, jokes shared, glimpses into the adult they are becoming. They also bring complexity, distance, and a longing for simplicity.
It’s not realistic to say that you should enjoy every moment. The sweetest things are the little ones. They squeeze your hand. Funny stories: The bedtime routines. They still think you’re smarter and stronger than everyone else.
One d, ay you will be me, watching a child race through a park and feeling your heart ache a little.
