Since Having Kids, I’m Faster than Ever
When I became a mother, I believed that patience and a slower pace were in my future. I was stupid! After several years of Mach-10-like efficiency, I have transformed into a caffeine-fueled Ninja. Whether it was out of necessity, instinct, or sheer survival instinct, I’ve always been a speed demon.
Here are six ways that I have improved my productivity, speed, and purpose since having children. These snapshots also show how the speedshift impacts parenting, self-care, and why slow moments are now treasures.
1. Coffee Inhalation – From Leisurely Sip To Survival Chug
Before kids: The moment I would cradle my warm coffee mug, breathe in the aroma, and let the first taste linger on my lips before going to work–pure bliss.
With children: This moment has become a frantic routine. I pour the coffee, sometimes half-awake, and within seconds, I am gulping down it like I’m on my last breath. In less than 10 seconds, the mug has been emptied, and I am sprinting to calm a child, retrieve a sippy cup, or answer a crying child.
The Science Behind It
Caffeine and necessity = transformation. Your coffee in the morning becomes a weapon of survival that will help you accomplish your next task, whether it’s to make breakfast, fold tiny laundry, dry, or stop early-morning siblings bickering.
The Real Moment
When I collect my parenting stories, it makes me laugh to remember one morning when I gulped my coffee in a hurry–mug in hand– to rescue a toddler who was half-dressed with clothespins and pants. The coffee did more than fuel me. It saved me.
2. 7-Second Toilet Break: Poop, Pray and Repeat
I was pre-kids: Each bathroom trip was a little break. Twenty minutes, maybe more–radio podcast, skincare, reflection.
After kids: Bathroom time is a sprint. I bounce into the bathroom, do Quick Pee ™ with military accuracy, wash my hands, then bounce out, before I realize that silence has turned to “Mom ??!”
The Pressure
I am always needed in our busy household. Staying in the bathroom too long is like abandoning ship. I turned the act of going to the toilet into an incredibly fast routine, which I call “pee and go.”
A Lighthearted Aside
What’s the funniest bit? It’s a family trick that has become a game. The fastest bathroom break winner gets bragging rights and not a trophy. It’s true.
The Parenting Lesson
It is not necessary to sacrifice hygiene for speed. We can still achieve speed and hygiene by teaching kids to wash their hands through flow and focus.
3. Express Showers: Hot Water in a Hurry
Once, upon a time, I would enjoy luxuriating in the shower. Steam, 20-minute escape from water, random jam sessions, or razor poker were all possibilities.
No: Showers can be considered blitz operations. Five minutes maximum. You need to get in, clean up, and get out. Someone is going to explode, be injured, or cause chaos.
Why showers became urgent
Around the eighth time, I had my hot shower interrupted by a child throwing a tantrum or having a kitchen accident. I realized that efficiency was the only option.
Tricks of the Fast Trade
- Plan: I turn on hot water while I remove my clothes to maximize drip time.
- A minimalist routine for Shampoo, Conditioner, Body Wash–end.
- Quickly dry off: Don’t lounge around after showering. Use a towel, apply deodorant, and move on.
Take a Moment to Reflect
Recently, I was daydreaming of a long, luxurious shower. This longing was unexpected. Once, I took those moments of solitude for granted. How quickly the passage of time altered their meaning.
4. Stealthy Chocolate Intake: Evidence Disappears in 3 Seconds
What was it? Leisure was always the goal. It could be with a book, a movie, or a show.
What is it now? Covert mission. The chocolate bars disappear in a matter of seconds. The wrap is folded discreetly, the vestiges are hidden, and all that is left is a faint cocoa scent on my breath.
Why Shift?
Chocolate is classified as intelligence. Mom guilt, dessert addiction, and sleep deprivation are all factors that contribute to this. Disregard is the key.
No-Crunch Munch: The Art of the No-Crunch Munch
- Create a chocolate stash that is hidden behind an innocuous object.
- Wrap under cover and unwrap. Then, eat, store, and rinse the wrapper with water.
The Emotional Reprieve
It’s strangely liberating to have those seconds of sweet reward, an instant acknowledgement of exhaustion, and a whispered ‘you deserve this.
5. White-Lie Ninjas: Effective Innocence Dispensers
Honest mom: I once believed that explaining to my children how the tooth fairies combined budgets with magic and peeling couch cushions was key to moral parenting.
Parenthood Me: White Lies are now quick tools for emotional marinating. These are done quickly and without suspicion when I have thrown away granola or refused to attend a party.
Why it’s changed
Flexibility is sometimes necessary for self-preservation or boundary setting.
Stealth Mode Examples
- “Popcorn? Where? “I’m out” (even though I am not).
- When you say “All the cookies have been eaten”, in reality, it is you who is the cookie monster.
- Sorry, it’s a kid’s birthday party. “We’re all booked up already.”
Ethical Thought
They’re all white lies. Brief. Not cruel. It’s worth checking if needed: Am I teaching avoidance, or am I maintaining my sanity?
6. Multitasking Movements: Parental Juggling amongst Controlled Chaos
Memory Lane: When I was younger, I would plan and complete one task at a given time, such as cooking, cleaning, or making a phone call.
Reprogrammed Me: Now I choreograph multiple tasks with laser-like focus. The dinner is prepared while the homework is being supervised. Daughter is helped at the kitchen counter, little one is dressed in her preschool uniform, and the risers are practicing piano.
Juggling Techniques
- Intervals and timing: Cooking chicken for 12 minutes, cutting fruit in 8minutesn.
- Zones & Stations: Kitchen Bench is Spelling station, Dining is Homework, Is Fruit prep zone.e
- Checklist Mind: Tasks Segment mentally as autopilot checklist – food, homework, snack, and lunchbox.
Juggling is a great way to have fun.
It makes you feel good. It takes a certain amount of strategic artistry to balance priorities. And it’s a surprising feeling when everything works together.
Why is there such a rush? What are the impacts and reflections?
a) The efficiency is (mostly) a blessing
- Microbreaks can be taken during free time (morning coffee with a quieter atmosphere, five minutes of stair stretching, or a minute in the bathroom to look at reflected sunlight).
- Feeling confident instead of stressed
- “Watch the Ninja parent, now you can wield time.”
b) Rapid Fire Moments: When speed doesn’t help
- When driving too fast, emotional memories (such as hurt feelings or bedtime stories) may be glossed over.
- Multitasking failures: homework lost when cooking, or carpool time miscommunicated.
- Self-care can be neglected amid a lightning schedule.
Relearning the Value of Slow
We have made express-living the default, but we long for slow. I long for 40-minute coffees and showers with full thought. I also want to read books from front to back. It’s a sign that I am human when I want to be bored.
Nourish the Effective:
- Honor that morning coffee gulp.
Accept the tradeoffs
- Slow down your routines, such as reading long bedtime stories or chatting with friends after. Microscopically focus on self-timeway:
- Even one minute more in the shower. Sit and drink three cups of coffee. Breaks should feel sacred and not rushed.
Involve your kids:
- Teach them that “Speed isn’t a sprint — understand what matters.”
- Allow them to watch you do a pee-break, eat stealthily, escape the shower, or drive while multitasking. It’s not about race, but valence.
Plan your downtimes proactively:
- Watch the “bored” day on your calendar and see how long you can enjoy, not fill.
A Week in Life: A Snapshot
Monday:
- Enjoy a cup of coffee at 6:30 am while you listen to the birds.
- 6:32 Dash to parade of children to breakfast and school preparation.
- 6:41 Loyalty pee-mission
- 6:45 shower efficiency hustle.
Wednesday:
- Cookie snack descent.
- Multi-tasking: soup reheated + spelling scavenger search + drawing session for the younger child.
Saturday:
- They stare at me with a kid’s nose. I realize how far I’ve travelled… but I miss a pause.
Conclusion
Parenting does reprogram you to move faster than Mach-Nutrition. This is a strength, not a flaw. As your fast moves become muscle memory, enjoy the moments in between.
All those routines that keep you moving are important. They give you more options. The quiet afternoon sun or the reading of a short story, the air between your steps, all these stillness zones can recharge you.
Keep sprinting when needed. Keep chocolate-wrap ninjutsu alive. Continue to inject pragmatism and white-lie. Carve your sluggish lines, too. Parenting isn’t just a series of fast.
The perfect blend of speed and savor, pace and pause.
