Vagina baubles have arrived to festively fanny up your Christmas tree

Vagina ornaments

Oh hurrah! Just when you thought you’d seen it all when it comes to Christmas decorations, vagina baubles have arrived to fanny fancy things up in surprising style!

Festive fannies

Not only are vagina baubles a real thing, but vagina baubles with clitoris bells are a real thing.

Don’t ask us why people are sewing bells onto their felt vaginas because it makes our eyes water and to wonder if actual clitorises were bells, how life would play out.


  Read more stories about Christmas:


Etsy is pretty much heaving with these baubles proving that a) people really love making vaginas and b) people like buying them too.

(Note that you could call the vulva baubles too, so know that we know this!)

Here are five things we didn’t know vagina ornaments could do …

1. Proclaim “poofy labia”

Some are described as being/having “poofy labia” and good for foofy them. (Below)

Vagina ornament

2. “Normalise women’s’ bodies!”

Some seek to take the lady parts out into the light of day and onto the Christmas tree to celebrate all things woman. (Below)

Vagina ornament

3. Jingle ’til you tingle

Some promise to make you “jingle ’til you tingle” thanks to the musical clitoris and gosh. (Below)

Vagina ornament

4.  Spice up your holiday season!

Some promise to add extra-EXTRA sparkle and spice to this very festive time of the year. (Below)

Vagina ornament

5. Customise your pubic palette!

Some seek to let you co-design the vagina ornament of your dreams, with lots of brilliant colour choices for all the various bits! (Below!)

Vagina ornament

So really, when it comes to vagina baubles, you’re totally spoilt for choice! Which vulva will you choose?!

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