How Christmas Day really looks when you have kids

Christmas morning toddler and dog

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse…

Except, of course, the kids bouncing off the walls from a candy cane high, at least one parent trying to figure out how to put together a bike that came with no instructions, and the in-laws snoring in the spare room.

Come and share a laugh at what Christmas really looks like.

christmas morning2

The morning will start at 3am

Nothing like the cheer of “Santa came!” before the crack of dawn to get you out of bed. What’s more, you were wrapping till 2am, which is why…

You will be on your third cup of coffee by 6am

And by 9am it will seem completely acceptable to open that bottle of wine chilling in the fridge.

The gifts that have taken weeks to buy, hide and then wrap will be opened in less than 17 seconds

Unless you have a child who insists on painstakingly easing the paper off, piece by piece. In this case, everyone else will be ready to move on to lunch while your slowcoach wonders where they are all going.

You will cook a seven course lunch only to be told by the kids that they want chicken nuggets

Prawns and chicken nuggets go well together, right? (Kidding – don’t waste good prawns on the kids.)

The kids will spill their hot chocolate everywhere

So much for that peaceful family tradition you were working on. Secretly though, you don’t mind that much, because of your new steam mop.

You will not be able to find the scissors (and when you do, they’re too big for the job)

This one is important, because all toy manufacturers seem to think their plastic products will be destroyed in transit if they don’t attach them to the package with a billion cable ties. The kids can unwrap it, but without teeny tiny scissors, nobody’s playing with anything.

The house will look like a toy shop blew up. How many people are coming for lunch?

Christmas is the only day of the year when we intentionally entertain large groups of people while simultaneously inviting the children to dump all their possessions in the lounge room. Start a game of “Who can pick up the most pieces of wrapping paper in one minute?” Good luck.

The children will be completely entranced

Which means you may actually get a chance to enjoy the peace and quiet while they are enjoying their new toys, all at once! Unless you made the mistake of buying something that sings.

Through the mess, you will realise just how lucky you are

Sure, it’s chaotic, but that’s part of the fun. Whether you have a house full of family, a house full of new toys or a house full of torn up wrapping paper, enjoy this special day with the ones you love.

And, hopefully, through the craziness, you get to enjoy a few moments of peace, quiet and rum balls.

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