As a First-time Mum, You’re Doomed to Obsess Over These 4 Things
It’s a crazy experience to become a new mum. There’s a lot of excitement, joy, wonder, and — let’s face it — a lot of anxiety. I can’t imagine the sleepless nights I had during my child’s first year. My mind was racing at night, worrying about things that were, in retrospect, completely unimportant.
Isn’t that motherhood? We worry. We worry. This is a tiring cycle, but it’s part of being a parent.
In retrospect, I see that there were some things I was obsessed with and I wish hadve let go much earlier. These anxieties often robbed my sleep and peace, but thankfully, they are perfectly normal. Here are the four biggest obsessions that I had as a new mum, and how to deal with them calmly.
1. Too Hot? Too Cold? The Great Temperature Debate
The running comment in my mind is: “Is this room too cold?” The Gro-egg indicates 23 degrees. What is the best tog for a sleeping bag? Is my baby too hot? Too cold? Should I dress him in an onesie and sleeping bag or just a diaper and T-shirt? His stomach feels hot. What if his body temperature rises too high? What if he is freezing? What if the temperature causes him to wake up?”
You’re not alone if you nod along. In those early weeks, this internal debate kept me awake for many hours. The fear of SIDS, or Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), due to overheating and chilling is a major concern for parents.
The Science Behind It
This is a real concern because babies can’t regulate body temperature as well as adults. Keeping your baby comfortable at night doesn’t have to be a hassle.
- Ideal temperature for a nursery: Experts suggest keeping the room between 18- 21 °C.
- Dress up your baby the same way you dress yourself. If your child is comfortable in a T-shirt and jeans, so will you.
- Sleep in a cotton bag that is breathable. This will allow for good air flow and prevent overheating.
- Feel the baby’s temperature.
How to Deal with Temperature Anxiety
- Use a reliable room thermometer, such as the Groegg or a simple digital thermometer.
- Wearable blankets and sleep sacks with a TOG rating are better alternatives to heavy blankets.
- Dress your baby in layers to easily adjust the clothing when the temperature changes.
- When you check your baby’s body temperature, don’t rely on their hands or feet. Instead, touch the chest or back.
What I wish I knew
I lost many sleepless nights because I was obsessed with the “perfect” temperature. I wish I’d relaxed and trusted my instincts more. Babies are much more resilient than people give them credit for. After I stopped second-guessing myself and followed the simple guidelines for temperature, bedtime was less stressful.
2. What’s Better, Organic Superfoods or Packaged Baby Food?
Mealtime is my second obsession after temperature. When my son turned six months old, I jumped into the world of baby food. My kitchen was transformed into a mini-test kitchen with blenders and steamers. I also had jars upon jars filled with homemade purees.
There is a pressure to provide the best nutrition.
It is difficult to be a mother when you feel the need to do the best for your baby. You want to give them the best start possible, with the most nutrients, vitamins, and minerals. The kind of superfoods that you read about in parenting books and online.
I spent hours on recipe websites, watched tutorials, lists, and created menus to meet every nutritional need. I refused to buy store-bought infant food because it was convenient. Fresh is always best, right?
Reality Check
My son then threw a bowl of sweet potato puree and braised beef purée on the floor, before even tasting them. The mess, time spent, and exhaustion on my face made me realise that this couldn’t continue.
My husband discovered a sample of “spaghetti bol for babies” in the pantry. We were hesitant at first, but gave it a try — and guess what happened? The world did not collapse. It was a great experience for my son, and it gave me a sense of relief.
Balance between Homemade and Convenient
It’s satisfying, and I can see what goes into the meals I make for my son. On busy days, when traveling, or if I am too tired to prepare, I will use store-bought purées.
Tips for food-obsessed mums
- Do not let guilt steal your joy. It doesn’t matter if the food is homemade or bought in a store, as long as it’s nutritious.
- Start with something simple: steamed veggies, mashed fruit, and cooked grains.
- Babies have different tastes, and they may reject certain foods no matter how healthy.
- Hydration and breastfeeding/formula remain crucial well into the first year.
What is the takeaway? It should not be stressful to feed your baby. There is no “right” way.
3. The Serial Catnapper – When Daytime Sleep is Impossible
The elusive nap during the day. I wanted my son, who is a serial catnapper, to take long, rejuvenating naps in the day. Instead, he barely slept for more than 30 minutes at a stretch.
I tried it all: changing the nap environment, adjusting the wake window, rocking my son to sleep in his pram, using white noise, swaddling him, you name it. Each time, his eyes would open brightly and eagerly to explore after a short sleep cycle.
The Catnap Conundrum
I compared my son to the other babies in our mothers’ group who took 1-2 hour naps. I started to wonder if my son was having a problem sleeping, or if, worse, I had failed as a mother.
Catnapping in babies is very common, especially in those under six months of age. This is a normal phase of development when the sleep cycle of babies is shorter and their self-soothing ability is still developing.
How I learned to accept it
It was a great relief to accept that my son’s catnapping is temporary. Around 12 months old, his naps were more predictable and longer. They usually lasted two hours after the lunch break, giving me plenty of time to do housework or rest.
Helping Your Catnapper Baby
- Encourage napping routines that are consistent to signal the time for sleep.
- Create a quiet and calm environment, free of distractions.
- White noise or soothing sounds can help your baby fall asleep.
- As their sleep cycles mature, most babies will grow out of the catnapping.
- Speak to your pediatrician if you have concerns.
It seemed like this phase would never end, but it did. You’ll survive the catnap phase — and your sanity, too.
4. How to Navigate the Overwhelming Information Overload: Advice From All Directions
As a new mum, I was completely taken aback by the volume of advice and opinions that came at me from all angles.
- You may hear well-meaning relatives telling you old wives’ tales.
- Parents’ books that contradict each other.
- Parents are passionate and (sometimes) judgmental in social media groups.
- Professionals in the health care field offer evidence-based advice.
The Stress of Trying To Do It “Right”
At first, I was paralysed by trying to sort out what advice was good and what wasn’t. Should I let my child cry it out on its own? Should I co-sleep with my baby? How often should I feed my baby? What is the vaccination schedule? What is the best brand of diapers? What is the best stroller? There were so many questions.
I worried that I would fail my child if I didn’t follow every piece of advice exactly.
Find Your Parental Style
The most important thing I learned was to develop my parenting style and trust myself. I realized that nobody has all the answers, and every family is different.
- Listen to your gut instinct.
- Find reliable sources of information.
- Make mistakes. They are part of the learning process.
- Do what you think is best for your family and not what other people say or what’s trendy.
- Your love and care are the foundation of your relationship, not perfection.
Conclusion
The first time motherhood is an exciting rite of passage that comes with a lot of love and anxiety. Most of these worries will p, ass and you’ll gain more confidence and peace with time.
You’re not the only one who obsesses over sleep, temperature, nutrition, or information overload. This is a common experience. Try to remind yourself, however, that perfection does not exist. Your baby needs only your love, your care, and your presence.
Allow yourself to be free. You can trust yourself. When you see your baby sleeping peacefully, comfortably, and happily, you know you are doing an excellent job.
What is the one thing that you obsess over as a new mother? Please share your tips and stories in the comments!
