When school, kindergarten or childcare organises celebratory days for specific family members, it can prove tricky for some kids…
Dads and Doughnuts Day
Families come in all shapes and sizes and sometimes these fun and well-intentioned events make kids feel different or uncomfortable.
Mum Whitney Kittrell shared her own family’s experience of navigating a super-specific event, when her son’s kindy organised a “Dads and Doughnuts Day”.
Whitney’s story, published on the Love What Matters Facebook page, shows what a hard-working, positive committed parent she is.
Not only that, it gives us an insight into the sensitive and sweet nature of her little boy.
Giving it her best shot
Whitney explained that she made a firm deal with herself to get the most out of life with her kids, after her marriage ended:
“When I became a single mom over 3 years ago I made a promise with myself that I would do anything I could, even if it meant going out of my comfort zone, to give my kids a “normal” life and the same experiences as other kids. We have accomplished a lot. Trips alone, teaching my son how to play catch, killing bugs with minimal screaming, countless memories, and a normal life.”
There were some situations, however, that were apparently purpose-built for dads:
“When my kindergartener came home with a paper saying that they were having “dads and doughnuts” my heart kinda sank,” this ace mum wrote.
Still, she took a deep breath, dove in and tried to find a solution that would work for her son.
“I finally sat him down and asked if he wanted to ask his grandpa to go. He just smiled and said ‘no. I want you to go. You’re my mom and dad.'”
Best dad outfit
Mum AND dad status confirmed, Whitney then approached the “Dads and Doughnuts Day” in her own unique way.
“I gathered up my best dad outfit, painted on some facial hair, and went to breakfast with my sweet son. I was so embarrassed but I couldn’t help but smile when he introduced me to his little friends saying ‘this is my mom… she’s my dad too so I brought her!'”
Whitney said this potentially tricky doughnut day was a blessing in disguise.
“I’ve tried my best to let them know they are loved but I wonder a lot if I’m actually succeeding at it. When I went to leave he ran after me and hugged me tight around my neck and whispered ‘Mom… I know that you’ll always be there and do anything for me. Thank you. I love you.’ He kissed my cheek and ran off. I hope he remembers this day cause I’ll never forget it or his sweet words.”
It’s obvious that Whitney’s efforts made her son feel super-special and loved.
She’s most definitely succeeding at the whole awesome mum thing!
“Kind of sucks…”
Commenters on the Facebook post loved Whitney’s can-do response to this kindergarten’s special day, but many questioned why these super-specific events are titled in potentially exclusive ways.
“Great Mom, but kind of sucks of the school to have such an activity. Many children are being raised by single parents and this seems like a huge mistake. Kind of like Mommy and Me teas for children being raised by a single father, or may be even by grandparents,” one commenter wrote.
Others said that despite the way these days are named, their schools and kindys are inclusive, welcoming any family members or special people at such events.
“Our school welcomes moms on dad’s day and dads on mom’s day. Or aunts or uncles or family friends or grandparents. They don’t discriminate as long as the visitor is supporting the child,” one parent wrote.
“This is great, but…”
Some commenters loved the story, but felt Whitney was wonderful as she is and didn’t need dress up “like a dad” to attend.
“This is great but you shouldn’t have to make yourself look like a boy to acknowledge your paternal role in your child’s life. Yes there’s stereotypical dad things that dad’s do but that doesn’t mean moms can’t do them.”
Some shared stories of more inclusive special person’s day events.
“My daughter’s school did doughnuts with dad and muffins with mom one year. But the following year they had pastries with parents,” one mum posted.
“What an awesome mom! My kids’ school district does “daughter & special persons” dances and “sons & special persons” dances as the district realizes that not all kids have the “traditional” family. Wish all schools did this so parents didn’t have to feel like you did reading ‘dad’.”
It’s certainly a great idea to help kids celebrate mums and dads (and grandparents too!) But maybe it is time for a more inclusive update?
What do you think?!