I enjoy watching children’s television. Possibly more than I, as a grown-up, should admit to. And while some of the shows have educational value, others are just plain entertaining – for me, they’re good in moderation. Imagine, though, if they weren’t just five or 10 minute snippets of fun and colour and stories. What if real life actually looked like kids’ TV?
Here’s a snapshot of what that world would look like.
At least 30 per cent of the population would be firefighters
If Fireman Sam has taught us anything, it’s that small towns can never have too many firemen. What about doctors, you say? Never fear – with such a large team of people looking out for fire-related emergencies, there would be very little need for medical intervention.
I would be afraid to go in my garden
If you’ve ever seen Dirtgirlworld, I don’t think I really need to explain this point. Those animal/human hybrids are creepy. I’d probably need to avoid large parks as well, in case they were anything like In the Night Garden.
It would be socially acceptable to wear the same clothes for days on end
As I look down at the black jumper I’ve been wearing for three days now, I know I would celebrate a world where I’d rarely have to change clothes. Peppa Pig’s family, Mister Maker, Ben and Holly – they all seem to get away with it. Unless they just have seven copies of the same outfit. I’ve never seen a washing machine, but how does Peppa manage to stay so clean if she just has one dress?
There would be more speaking animals than humans
Postman Pat, Fireman Sam, Play School, Mister Maker, Wiggles … that’s basically the extent of TV shows that feature humans that I can think of. I’m not counting Grandpa in my Pocket because I’m trying to forget it exists. By contrast, I can’t turn on the TV without seeing a talking pig/rabbit/sheep/what on earth is that?
Cirque du Soleil would probably need to up their game
Don’t get me wrong – I think Cirque de Soleil is incredible. But if we were all just backflipping to get breakfast like they do in Hoopla! Doopla!, the population would possibly be less awed by acrobatics.
Physios would be booked solid
I can’t imagine it would be good for our backs if we regularly fell on them to laugh. Peppa Pig and her family seem to have no qualms about doing it. On the upside, Miss Rabbit would probably be the physio, so at least it would be an interesting visit.
I’m actually not sure whether to be thankful or saddened that life’s not more like kids’ TV now! From solid storylines to annoying characters, it sure does provide us with something to talk about.