Outnumbered dad hilariously documents life with four girls under ten

dad of four daughters instagram

UK dad Simon Hooper and wife Clementine (Clemmie) are not only dad and mum to four adorable girls, they’re co-conspiritors in the hilarious life-interrupted-by-kids Instagram account that’s embodying all our parenting experiences.

Take the photo below, for instance. Not only does it perfectly sum up the experience of ‘sleep’ when one has children, it illustrates the perils of being outnumbered by your offspring (especially the kicking, cuddles and appropriation of property/sanity.)

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Is it only me or do all men learn to sleep on an 8 inch strip at the edge of the bed? Irrespective of the size of the bed, or how many people are in it, I always find myself relegated to the 'man zone'. I've become so used to sleeping on this limited area of bed real estate, that I'm confident that I could sleep on top of a wall & not fall off. On the other side of the bed (the promised land), @mother_of_daughters sleeps like a star fish all night long, kneeing me in the back and generally complains about me coming to bed too late, being too cold or my foot encroaching onto her territory. At least the bed's nice and warm, even if the reception isn't sometimes! I hope that next Sunday, on #NationalLieInDay, I'll not only gain another hour in bed, but more space – but it's doubtful ! If you want to regain that hour (and some space for that matter) click in the link in my bio, loads of great prizes to be won @SimbaSleep #bedrealestate #livingontheedge #girls #twins #daughters #therestoomanygirls #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad #gopro

A post shared by Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) on

 

Warts and all

London-based Hooper documents family life with a 9-year-old, a 6-year-old and 10-month-old twins on his Instagram account father_of_daughters, and he’s not pulling any punches in the authenticity stakes.

Trips to the shops, daylight savings, baby fashion, child development and successful marriage all come under the microscope and we’re learning lots, nodding and spitting our coffee in chortling solidarity. It’s a complicated series of moves. Thanks heaps, Simon. *wipes phone screen*

“In general my whole account is to show a realistic view of what parenting is like from a parent’s perspective,” Simon told The Huffington Post.

“There is way too much sugarcoating when it comes to parents, so I wanted to share what it’s really like and provide a bit of humor at the same time.”

 

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Despite their best efforts, Ottie and Delilah failed miserably in stowing away in my case. Even for them, this was a poor effort and was never going to work. Dont take up smuggling girls – youd definitely be a feature of one of those awful airport customs TV shows. As a last ditch attempt to stop me going to the Philippines to work for a week, they gummed the crap out of my passport and air miles cards but with little effect. Ive learnt my lesson and double checked that I had infact packed clean underwear and not a 4 pack of muslins like last time (that was an awkward couple of days in New York). Shout out to my wonderful wife @mother_of_daughters for doing this coming week solo. I love you. Think positive and be patient. You'll smash it. #dontbecomesmugglers #ifidontcomehomewithpresentsimdead #twins #mygirls #businesstravel #workingaway #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

A post shared by Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) on

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After long day of walking around and playing, The twins needed a bath and I needed a wash so day 2 of #dadtakeover ended like this. (I dont run baths just for myself…I'm a man after all). In theory this sharing of a bath was a good idea. In reality it felt like I was an uninvited blue whale who'd gatecrashed a private spa for small people. If looks from babies could kill, I'd have been dead for sure. Strategically placed flannels were used in the taking of this picture. (And yes I took the picture on a tripod before people ask! Im on my own!) On to day 3. #uninvitedbluewhale #bathtime #yesthishappened #yesitookthisphotograph #family #notsuchagoodidea #twins #parenting #fatherofdaughters #instadad #dadlife

A post shared by Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) on

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we have A LOT of toys for the girls. Some hand-me-downs, some brand new. We offer up the hand made, ethically sourced, non toxic, bespoke blocks made from organic, carbon offset wood, lovingly sourced from Norway. They look down their nose at them with disgust, decide they're tosh and toss them to one side. Then they go on a rampage to find keys, my wallet, my phone, anything that resembles a remote control and plastic packaging. If that fails, they bug me until i give up the goods. Many mornings, you'll find me running around the house, quietly cursing the babies, who've hidden my cash / debit card and /or keys. guess I should get used to this as I hear teenage girls take the same stuff. #stophidingmyshit #pointlessexpensivetoys #allthebabieswantismywallet #girlstakemystuff #ishouldgetusedtoit #fatherofdaughters#dadlife #instadad

A post shared by Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) on

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The wonders of modern technology. Why, oh why did I give my eldest an ipod touch? Yes, its great to stay in contact while im away but my inbox is now full of emoji based spam from my bored daughter. (The emoji poo is a firm favourite). Today while in meetings, I convinced her that because I'm 8 hours ahead of her (I.e. in the future), I could send her the lottery numbers and shes guarenteed to win as i already know the winning ones. Took her a while to figure out that wasn't actually the case, made me laugh though! FYI Yes I look shattered but I've been travelling for 22 hours so what do you expect!! #wecouldhavewonthelottery #remoteparenting #kidsandtechnology #whyalwaystheemojipoo #emojispam #workingaway #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

A post shared by Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) on

 

Double act

Midwife Clemmie posts to the pigeon-pair account, mother_of_daughters.

It features cake, coffee, fake moustaches, work life and bits and bobs about her upcoming book (How To Grow A Baby and Push It Out.)

Less spit, granted, but lots of inspirational fodder for those of us trying to juggle kids and work and dreams (and funny partners.)

We’re adding her to our must-follow-mums list right this minute. Scroll down for a bit more Clemmie. Ball-pit coffin, anyone?

 

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