Olympic athletes are amazing, but pregnant woman deserve the medals

It takes incredible drive and dedication to become an Olympic athlete. But you know what’s just as impressive in our books?

Pregnancy. And here’s why:

It’s one of the longest endurance sports out there.

40 weeks, give or take. And you don’t get a day off to rest your legs or rejuvenate your body. There are no substitutes, no time outs and no rest days. And you can’t simply stop racing if something hurts.

Nope. You’re in it for the long haul.

It involves some seriously intense hurdles along the way.

Like haemorrhoids. And hormones. And annoying commentators who think they know everything about everything.

The injuries sustained are insanely painful (and unforgiving).

Sure, Olympians face foot fractures, pulled groins and broken bones. But pregnancy brings on intense nausea, dry skin, varicose veins, aching back pain, swollen feet and stretch marks. And that’s just leading up to the main event where you have to push a baby out of you.

So pregnant women win.

Baby showers are often a more extravagant affair than the opening ceremonies.

There may not be fireworks present – well, not usually – but there are flags of colourful bunting and balloons, towers of treats and piles of nappies, wipes, clothes and other much-needed training equipment.

You can’t rely on any form of medication (not even cold and flu tablets) to get you through to the end!

But you can rely on an epidural during the final sprint to the finish. And an epidural is definitely better than Gatorade.

Or steroids.

It’s like 10 sports in one.

During the first trimester you get to participate in such events as the Morning Sickness Sprint and the Motivational Marathon where competitors must attempt to remain awake for the whole duration of the day.

Participants also look forward to sailing on a wave of emotions during the Hormonal Yachting event which is always a bumpy ride.

Second trimester tests you in the fine art of Taekwondo as you experience baby kicks to the bladder.

Plus, you get to test your skills in Don’t-Touch-the Belly Boxing as you pull out the intense arm movements to prevent strangers from grabbing at your baby bump.

As you near the third trimester competitors can look forward to the Heavy Weightlifting event as they attempt to roll their pregnant bodies out of bed every morning.

Then you get to wrap up with the 100m Waddle every ten minutes as bub pushes on your bladder.

And it comes with an epic final event…

The much anticipated Labour Games, which uses every ounce of strength in your body and mind not to give up and forfeit. Because, there is no such thing as a scratch in pregnancy. Sorry, but once you sign up, you cannot back down.

But the good news is that waiting for you at the finish line is the greatest reward of all, one that makes the race worth its weight in (you guessed it), gold.

When it’s all done, you forget the pain of the whole experience and look forward to the next one.

But, with the average mum waiting only two years and five months between children, the break between sporting events is also much shorter than your typical quadrennial Olympic games.

And, let’s face it, parenting is just as much an Olympic sport as pregnancy (and we’ve got a post about that as well!) – check out nine parenting tasks that should be world class sports and life lessons all kids can learn from the Olympics.

So, to all athletes embarking on the pregnancy Olympics or to all the ones who have made it to the finish line already, we salute you.

Sure, you may not get the chance to stand on a podium waving your country’s flag and holding your gold medal, but you do get to hide in the pantry eating your child’s leftover lolly bag chocolate and hoping they don’t find out.

And that’s pretty much the same thing.

Subscribe to Babyology

Our email newsletters keep you up to date with what’s happening on Babyology.

We also have special newsletter-only offers and competitions that are exclusive to Babyology subscribers.

Sign up below:

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Send this to a friend