Mum’s hilarious attempt at “parent sex” proves the struggle is very real

parent sex

A US mum has shared an hilarious and relatable post about finding the time and place for a bit of “parent sex” and it’s striking a chord with thousands of Facebook mums.

“Our time”

The post was shared (seemingly) anonymously on the Breastfeeding Mama Talk Facebook page, which is founded by Kristy Kemp. And we are fairly certain that many, many other parents will relate.

“When is there time for us? Trying to squeeze in OUR time has proved to be a challenge,” asks the mum.

It seems that those long lost days of non-furtive sexy times were praying on her mind.

“I am not sure when the last time we actually had sex when the kids were up?!” she elaborated.

Let’s face it, unless you have a lock on your door, steely determination, a 100 percent kid-safe home and some earplugs, that’s probably not going to happen…


Let’s get it on

The writer goes on to share her determined prep for an evening of intimate times, casting off body insecurities in favour of birthday-candle-lit romance. #HubbaHubba

“We (I) fed the family, washed the kids, brushed their teeth, put jammies on them and tucked the kiddos in bed early. I ran to the bedroom turned off Blippi and turned on romantic music.”

“Found the lighter from my 2 year old’s birthday party and got the dust covered candles lit. I attempted to be sexy ignoring my postpartum naked body society frowns upon. I know he loves every inch of me.”

The money shot

And then she TMI-d the heck out of everyone reading her candid post.

“We get into the warm shower that is quickly loosing heat because my kids took most of the hot water. Kissing passionately in our shower we seem to hear phantom cries of our children about every 30 seconds. Trying to catch our footing we hear a loud “SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!””

“I start cursing the toy dolphin under my breath. As we are desperate to keep the mood going we realize the alphabet toys below us…. We are surrounded…. Finally we both crack up and the sexual mood disappears.”

Candid camera

After we’d thrown a bucket of cold water over ourselves, we wiped our eyes and read on. The writer explained just how helpful it was to share these parenting struggles and why they’d snapped the alphabet-strewn almost-post-coital shot.

“Some of you will think… “omg why would you post something so private.” Well, I am a transparent person and I try to find the humor in being a parent. I believe if you can’t truly enjoy your kids and laugh you will never survive being a parent.”

“So here is to the exhausted moms and dads out there trying to be parents every minute of the day attempting to get some together time. Lol! Laugh at life or you won’t make it!”

In this together

Commenters on the post were super happy this mum had shared her thoughts, entertained and sympathetic.

“That moment when sex is interrupted with “COME PLAY AT THE ZOO!!!” one mum wrote.

“Sorry, your legs are shaved; that immediately diminishes your credibility ;))))” another teased.

“We were almost to the point of “love making” when we heard a loud THUMP. Our son climbed out of his crib and fell on the floor. Ruined it for me that night ugh,” one mum shared.

So if you’re finding yourself in the shower stall with your nearest and dearest and a dolphin, know that you are not alone..!


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