Mum life reveal: “Doing everything perfectly as a mom is f*cking EXHAUSTING!”

Rachel Brathen and daughter Luna

When new mum Rachel Brathen (aka Yoga Girl) shared a post about mummy shaming and parenting perfection, like-minded mums chimed in – by the thousands – in support.

Every time…

Rachel posted a pic of herself with baby daughter Lea Luna snuggled into a Baby Bjorn, wearily bracing herself for a critical pile-on, in response.

“Every time I post about this carrier I get shit because it’s not ‘ergonomic enough’,” she began, explaining “it’s easy as hell to strap yourself into and that’s why I wear it.”

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This could be an ad for Baby Björn. It's not. Every time I post about this carrier I get shit because it's not "ergonomic enough". Whatever the hell that means. It's easy as hell to strap yourself into and that's why I wear it. Doing everything perfectly as a mom is fucking EXHAUSTING! I'm constantly worrying about everything I'm doing wrong. On nights when she's up or when her naps are short I wonder; is she getting enough sleep? When she sleeps through the night and takes two-hour naps I wonder; is she sleeping too much? I worry about if she is too hot or too cold – we sleep in air conditioning and I agonize over whether the perfect temperature is 24 or 25 degrees Celsius/75.2 or 77F (with 24 I worry that she gets cold after a while? But at 25 I think maybe she should wear a pj without socks?). I worry about her eating – now that she is eating solids, should she still breastfeed as much? She loves oatmeal and cereal and only wants my boob a few times a day now. Is this normal? Is she eating too much? Too little? And her playtime – I worry we should be spending more time outside but when we're outside I feel like she is getting too much sun. And of course this is not even getting into all the ways I worry she might get injured or die, something that's at the front of my mind in absolutely everything I do. GODDAMMIT THE EXTENT OF MY WORRY IS ENDLESS. And not at all proportionate to what she actually needs. I know I'm doing a good job. A great job. She is so loved. She has everything she needs. Hell, she might be the luckiest baby of all time. She has a full time mom and a full time dad and a full time grandma and aunts and uncles that adore he and a whole tribe of people loving her so much. She is safe. Held. Everything is ok. And yes, somewhere along the way I'm going to fuck up. And that's going to be ok, too. I'm writing this sitting on the floor at the top of the staircase outside our bedroom, drinking a beer while listening to her fall asleep in her crib because our monitor is out of battery. All is well. This beer tastes so damn good. And right now, after writing this, I feel like a damn good mom. Thank you, vulnerability. You save me every time

A post shared by Rachel Brathen (@yoga_girl) on

Perfect mum 101

But Rachel admitted that it’s not really, solely the mummy shaming that’s getting her down, it’s also the pressure to parent perfectly – and get everything right – that’s wearing a bit thin. 

“Doing everything perfectly as a mom is f*cking EXHAUSTING!” Rachel posted. “I’m constantly worrying about everything I’m doing wrong.”

The anxiety is very, very real and most parents will relate to the confusion and worry that parenting often bundles up.

“On nights when she’s up or when her naps are short I wonder; is she getting enough sleep? When she sleeps through the night and takes two-hour naps I wonder; is she sleeping too much? I worry about if she is too hot or too cold … I worry about her eating – now that she is eating solids, should she still breastfeed as much? … Is she eating too much? Too little?”

What if…

These everyday worries often give way to much bigger, life threatening what-ifs.

“Of course this is not even getting into all the ways I worry she might get injured or die, something that’s at the front of my mind in absolutely everything I do. GODDAMMIT THE EXTENT OF MY WORRY IS ENDLESS. And not at all proportionate to what she actually needs.”

Rachel’s candid thoughts perfectly illustrate the freak-out spiral that being a mum or dad can often spark.

And yet, when all is said and done, a few deep breaths and a dose of proper perspective reveals the actual truth – that these worries might seem all pervasive at times, but they’re not an indicator of poor parenting, bad choices or actual risk at all.

“I know I’m doing a good job. A great job. She is so loved. She has everything she needs. Hell, she might be the luckiest baby of all time. She has a full time mom and a full time dad and a full time grandma and aunts and uncles that adore her and a whole tribe of people loving her so much,” Rachel wrote.

“She is safe. Held. Everything is ok. And yes, somewhere along the way I’m going to fuck up. And that’s going to be ok, too.”

So true. Everything is almost always okay, in the end.

Thanks for letting us peek into your perfectly flawed, perfectly relatable mama brain, Rachel. 


Do these kinds of swirling thoughts and doubts keep you awake at night?

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#yogaeverydamnday – DAY 1! It's pretty hilarious that my very first post of this 30-day yoga challenge is a post-yoga glass of wine holding a shrieking baby🙈😂🤗 Real life it is!!! Today was such a hard day. Another night of no sleep and I honestly feel like I'm getting close to having a minor (ok a major) meltdown. I think all the changes we have been trying to make to get her to sleep better are all backfiring now and she is just freaking out about everything related to sleep – even day-time naps that used to be easy are challenging now. Soooo i started the day off by crying. Then I went to a meeting. I had planned to take a vinyasa class at lunch but because of the no sleep thing I missed it and ended up browsing the schedule for an early afternoon session. Guess what I found? A 2-hour restorative class!🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 Let me tell you… I feel like a new person. I think we did four or five poses total during the two hours and I had five bolsters and a ton of blankets supporting me in the most simple but oh-so-calming poses. For someone who's not sleeping this must be the second best thing there is. And now I'm at a pizza place with husband and baby, drinking a glass of wine. I think I just started off the challenge in the BEST WAY EVER…?!?! Ha! Life takes us places! Now, tell me. Did you start??? How was your Day 1? How are you getting on your mat? Don't forget to tag me @yoga_girl #yogaeverydamnday and #yogagirlchallenge so I can see your posts! LETS DO THIS!!!🙏🏼💪🏼🙏🏼🤗🤗🤗 #yoga #yoga #yoga #andthennwine

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