The hilarious dad confessions that will have you in stitches!

Whether you admit it or not, we all have Secret Parenting Behaviour – things we do to keep us sane while raising our kids. One dad has lifted the lid on the little gems that help him get through the day as a father of four – and of course, fellow dads have weighed in with their own hilarious confessions.

As parents, we may share every facet of ourselves with our children, but eventually we need a release. So Reddit user EB8 decided to reveal some parenting gold:

How to to avoid sharing food with your kids

“I put Tabasco sauce on almost everything I eat because I don’t want to share it.”

How to indulge in silence

“More often than not, I turn the radio off in my car on the way to work just to enjoy the damn quiet.”

How to push the boundaries

“I’ve abstained from red meat since my first was born, and my wife is a vegetarian. Recently, master seven indicated an interest in trying a cheeseburger. I silently celebrated because it wasn’t a PBJ, mac and cheese, or chicken nuggets.”

How to avoid having  more children

“Even though we agreed on four, my wife has been mentioning a fifth lately in an offhanded manner. Needless to say, I’ve been standing very close to the microwave lately.”

Parenting randomness

“The guy at the convenience store down the street always looks mildly bemused when I come in to buy something that isn’t beer.”

“The other night, my wife asked me if I wanted to have sex. I automatically assumed she didn’t mean that night, but instead, three to four nights later in the week when we had a twenty-five point action plan in place (in case you’re wondering, that was Tuesday. And no, we haven’t yet).”

girl drawing on sleeping dad sl

And the hilarity continued, as fellow fathers and Reddit users offloaded their own parenting confessions:

How to avoid Peppa Pig overload

“I tell mine that certain movies are broken and we need to wait for them to be fixed. Sometimes it takes a week to “fix” them.” – Cinnamon Whiskey

“The TV is tired and needs to take a nap… next day the TV is still tired (she is only 2.5 so it works).” – Tervuren

How to get out of buying ice-cream

“The ice cream truck only plays music when it is out of ice-cream.” – Del

How to get rid of noisy toys

“My confession is that battery operated, overly noisy, and blinky lighty toys are always welcome in the bath. One good swim and, ‘oh no I’m so sorry your loud enough to deafen the children next door toy is broken.'” – Sinisterplatypus

How to keep your drink to yourself

“Whenever I don’t want to share my drink it’s ‘grown up juice’ – kiddo probably thinks I’m an alcoholic.” – NatskuLovester

We love a good list of parenting hacks – Babyologists, make sure you let us know if you have any rippers to share!

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