Tears are shed, siblings stick together, series-long mysteries are solved and Bran ruins, well, pretty much everything. Here’s what we learned during this week’s episode of Game of Thrones.
Haven’t seen it yet? Walk away. We’ll hold the door for you on the way out.
I’m sure most of us who are Game of Thrones fans haven’t quite recovered from the revelation and horror that occurred during last night’s episode, “Hold the Door.” But, underneath the shame and sadness, there are a few important parenting lessons to be learned.
Behold, our recap of Game of Thrones S06, Ep05 for all mums and dads everywhere.
At Castle Black
Jon Snow and Sansa continue their reunion at The Wall as they plot how to take back the North. Sansa knits them matching outfits, which is always cute on siblings, even if they are middle-aged now.
Meanwhile, Brienne of Tarth continues to ignore the obvious courting of the red bearded wilding and the odd-bunch featuring Podrick, the Red Witch, Sir Davos, Jon Snow and Sansa head out on horses.
Parenting lesson #1 – Families stick together, even after years apart. And matching outfits always look awesome.
We learn nothing about no one over in Braavos as Ayra continues her quest to join the Black and White gang of nameless serial killers. She watches a play, essentially summing up Season One of Game of Thrones, in the town square, where her father, Ned, is portrayed as a moron.
Ayra plots one of the actress’ deaths, which, in true Braavos fashion, has nothing to do with the main plot line whatsoever.
But, hey, at least the actor who plays Joffrey ends up with warts.
Parenting lesson # 2 – In the eyes of a child, Dad is perfect, even if others don’t seem to think so.
Over in the Iron Islands
Here we meet Theon and Yara Greyjoy’s crazy Uncle Euron. While the brother and sister duo stick together and deliver eloquent speeches to their fleet of pathetic men, Uncle Euron explains his plan to marry Daenerys and conquer all of Westeros. That should end well for him. Best of luck to Uncle Euron.
Parenting lesson # 3 – Sibling love is one of the strongest bonds in the world, especially if the rest of your family is nuts. Otherwise known as everyone has a crazy uncle.
In Meeran and Vaes Dothrak
In Meereen we are introduced to another Red Witch by the name of Kinvara. She seems pretty cool. So she’ll probably be dead by the end of the season.
In Vaes Dothrak, Jorah reveals his strange disease for which he is instructed to find the cure, and Daenerys rides off on a white horse, leading her new army, looking as perfect as ever.
Parenting lesson # 4 – A bit of makeup and a nice hair style goes a long way, even if you’re sleep deprived and recovering from walking through fire.
At the Tree North of the Wall
We finally uncover the roots (pun intended) behind the establishment of the white walkers. We always knew it was the magic dagger, but it turns out, Leaf (yes, that tree person is named Leaf), created the first white walker as a way to defend her tribe. Clearly that worked out well.
Next we discover just how useless Bran really is as one of his visions triggers the white army to attack the tree.
And, thus, we can all guess what happens. In true Game of Thrones fashion, the direwolf is killed in a horrific way, Bloodraven turns into black dirt and Hodor, well, we finally learn what happened to the sweetest GoT character of them all.
As past and present connect (once again thanks to Bran’s horrible timing to return to his visions), we meet a younger Hodor (Wyllis) over in Winterfell. We are then taken to present day Hodor who is holding the door to keep the white walkers out and protect Bran from danger.
As Meera screams, “Hold the door,” over and over again, Wyllis collapses on the ground, repeating the same words to a crowd of stunned Winterfellians (“Whatcha taking ’bout Wyllis?”). “Hold the Door” soon turns into, yes, you guessed it, “Hodor”. The mystery is heartbreakingly solved.
As thus, our beloved present day Hodor is torn to shreds and our past Hodor is left permanently traumatised. And we are left to curse Bran and his pure uselessness. For a chosen one, he certainly knows how to screw everything up.
Parenting lesson # 5 – If there is one thing we can learn from Hodor and Bran’s relationship, it’s this: you don’t need to give birth to someone to parent and protect them.
And, zombies are just the worst.