Em Rusciano on living with grief “I was supposed to give birth in 20 days”

Em Rusciano with her husband Scott

Content warning: This post discusses miscarriage.

Comedian and radio presenter Em Rusciano is pushing on after suffering a miscarriage in the first trimester of her pregnancy, simply because she has to. 

Living with loss

Her experience is a reminder that the pain of losing a baby is an ever-present one. Em did a quick interview with with Yahoo Be on Victoria’s Spring Racing Carnival Derby Dayand it offered some insight into what she’s navigating at present.

We’re guessing she was asked if she was feeling better, these days. Her response was reliably candid.

“No, I’m not [feeling better], but I just put one foot in front of the other and that’s all I can do,” Em told Yahoo Be.  

It’s obvious that her loss is still – quite understandably – extremely raw, with the mum-of-two taking a day at time and quite literally marking the days. It’s obviously still very difficult to talk about.

“There will always be a…” she began. “I mean I was supposed to give birth in 20 days”.

Posted by Em Rusciano on Saturday, 4 November 2017

“If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry”

Em revealed she’s attempting to process her pain in the way she knows best.

“The show I’m doing next year, the tour… I’m doing stand-up comedy about miscarriage,” she told Yahoo Be. “I think if you don’t laugh you’ll cry.”

Em and husband Scott Barrow have been together for 18 years and are parents to two daughters.

A third child was an exciting surprise, but before Em could share her baby news publicly, she had a miscarriage.

About 10 weeks ago I got the most wondrous surprise. I found out I was pregnant. I was going to announce it this Monday…

Posted by Em Rusciano on Saturday, 20 May 2017

“Lost to me”

Em decided to share the experience, in the hopes that it would help other families who were going through, or had been through, the same thing.

“About 10 weeks ago I got the most wondrous surprise. I found out I was pregnant,” Em wrote on Facebook in May of this year.

“I was going to announce it this Monday as we’d hit 13 weeks, but instead I will be at home in the most exquisite pain I can possibly fathom. Yesterday I found out that my little boy, was lost to me.”

Em is not alone in this horrible experience. In Australia, one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage, yet despite these terribly high numbers, stigma still surrounds this kind of loss.

We’re grateful that Em is sharing her experience, and hope that it encourages other women to seek support if they’re struggling with the loss of a child.

If you’ve experienced a miscarriage, like Em, or the loss of a child, there is advice and support at hand. Get in touch with the people at SANDS as soon as you can. They can help you navigate this terrible time and help you better deal what you’re going through. Please don’t go it alone. 

The SANDS helpline is available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year (including Christmas Day) by dialling 1300 072 637.

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