After his wife suffered yet another miscarriage, Al Ferguson penned a heartfelt post on Facebook, highlighting the need to be kind – always – because you just never know what someone else is going through.
A sad but important reminder
Tragedy can affect us in many different ways. While some find it easy to talk about their loss and let those around them help them through their grief; others need time to process their sadness alone, maybe even continuing to go about their regular daily life, never revealing they are hurting to those around them.
This point was painfully driven home to The Dad Network founder, Al Ferguson after his wife Jen suffered her sixth miscarriage. Despite her pain and loss, Jen was determined to make life as normal as possible for their son, Ted, refusing to let him miss out on his regular weekly toddler group and play at the park.
“I begged Jen to stay home and rest this morning,” writes Al. “But she insisted Ted and her were off for their usual Tuesday morning together and that she didn’t want to miss it. I could’ve taken him but she was adamant.”
Posting on The Dad Network’s Facebook page, Al shared the couple’s experience with a heartfelt plea: be kind.
“It struck me today whilst she was out at the toddler group that she will have been in a hall with a hundred people acting as if nothing were happening to her. No one would know she was miscarrying, right there, right then.”
You never know what someone is going through
Al’s post is an important reminder that we may not always know when someone is hurting. We all cope with grief and pain in many different ways, and no matter how someone chooses to express (or not express) their sadness, the very best thing we can do at all times is to simply be kind.
“It just goes to show that you never know what other people, those around you, are going through,” says Al. “The person sitting next to you on the train, the parent in the playground, the mum at toddler group. They might all be having a hard time, be hurting, be sick, be in pain. They may be struggling through. Yet they paint on their smiles and face the world. It’s a stark reminder of the need to always be kind. Because you never know what others are going through.”
How true it is. I think the world would be a much nicer place if we all adopted Al’s attitude and treated our fellow human with kindness first. Always.
If you or someone you know needs support after miscarriage, stillbirth or infant loss, SANDS is there to help. Visit their website or call their 24 hour hotline any time.