Toddlers are God’s biggest practical joke on mankind. I mean, seriously, what other creature takes delight in hurling every single meal you make them on the floor, or hiding their dirty nappies in your bed?
Here are the top nine weirdest ‘toddler moments’, all complete craziness to us, but to them, perfectly sensible choices.
1. If you see an open door, make a break-neck run towards it. Freeeeedom.
2. If you find an opportunity to sneak away and ditch your nappy so you can run around naked, do it. Always do it.
3. If your mother splits a slice of watermelon, a piece of cake or anything else she happens to be eating and gives you some, tantrum until you get the piece she’s holding. It must be better, right?
Read more about toddlers:
- Every mum has a horror poo story, but can you top mine?
- How to defuse a toddler tantrum before they blow
- What daycare kids really need from you on the weekend
4. If you see an adult bending over to pick something up, immediately jump on their back with a squeal of delight and demand horsey rides.
5. Baby gate momentarily unlatched? It’s finally time for that joy ride down the stairs!
6. If you spot some bare tummy exposed on the closest adult, make a dive for it and blow some raspberries.
7. Not getting enough attention? Find something you’re not allowed to eat (a small piece of plastic, a gumnut or a bottle lid), put it in your mouth and show the nearest adult, before turning around and running away in glee. Just watch how quickly they’ll drop whatever they’re doing then!
Still need attention? Just steal your mother’s phone and hold it over the toilet bowl!
8. If you just need to check EXACTLY how much toilet paper is left on that roll, you’d better unspool all of it. All over the floor. And wrap yourself in it.
9. No matter how much you love the bath, and how many times mum has explained that removing the plug means the water drains out and bath time is over, you still pull out that plug anyway. Every time.
Got any to add to the list?