It’s a wild ride being a parent. You think you have it all under control until your children throw you a curveball and you find yourself having a breakdown. We adults are expected to set an example, but we often behave like toddlers. It’s those tantrums that feel familiar, because you’ve experienced them before. Maybe even added a footstomp to the mix.
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My kids made me crazy the other day when they kept pestering me to get another biscuit. I was so frustrated by his noise that I had reached my breaking point. Instead of staying calm or trying to distract him from the situation, I screamed at my five-year-old–without thinking, without stopping to breathe, and definitely without trying to defuse the situation maturely. I was acting like a child at that time.
This wasn’t even the first time in a week. Here are some of the times I behaved like a child, and it was both funny and embarrassing. It’s okay if you feel a little ashamed.
1. I will only eat what I want
I made lasagna for dinner the other night. I decided to eat my lasagne hot before my children started their usual dinnertime fight. My husband made a suggestion just as I was about to sit down. I quickly shot back, “You can. I’ll eat just the lasagne. I don’t mind eating carbs or beef. “I don’t want to eat healthy right now!”
I don’t understand why I suddenly could only think of my lasagne. I didn’t even want to think about a salad. I just wanted the plate of hot pasta and cheese that was in front of my face. It was just like a toddler who has decided to only eat the food they want. ,. It’s funny, but it’s strangely satisfying to indulge in that moment of unapologetic, pure selfishness. It’s the same attitude that kids have when they won’t eat anything else but macaroni & cheese for weeks.
2. Why doesn’t the whole world revolve around me?
The garbage truck was causing us to be late for my children’s kindergarten that morning. The garbage truck was picking up bins slowly, and traffic was backed up. Instantly, I felt a surge of frustration. “Damn it! We’re late!” I murmured under my breath as I stared at the truck that was in front of me. I shouted in my head, “Pick up those bins!”
It dawned upon me at that moment: Why was I thinking the world should stop just for me? Why did I think I had the right to go ahead of others just because I was late? I felt like everyone should have given me the way, like a toddler screaming because his needs and wants are the most important in the world. I was like that toddler – frustrated, impatient and unaware of what was going on around me.
3. I stamped my feet and said, “It is mine!” “
Let’s be honest, this one is embarrassing. But let’s not sugarcoat it. After my kids finished their Tim Tams (those yummy chocolate biscuits), they asked me to share mine. Normally, I would have happily shared. This time, I didn’t. I wanted to enjoy every last bit of my Tim Tam this time.
It’s my food! “It’s my food!” I proclaimed, shovelling the entire biscuit into my mouth and stamping my feet to emphasise. My children stared at me in incredulity. I’m sure they were thinking, “Seriously, Mom?” In that moment, however, I felt the toddler within me say, “Nope. Not today. “This is my treat and I will NOT share it.”
Do you know the possessiveness that kids display when they won’t let anyone touch their favourite snack or toy? I was acting in the most childish way possible.
4. I Cried into a Blanket
Another time, I felt completely overwhelmed and emotionally exhausted. After a stressful day, I locked myself in the bedroom of my son and wept into his toddler’s blanket. There was something comforting about burying myself in the soft blanket and smelling of baby lotion. I don’t know why. My toddler showed me the joy of unfiltered emotion release, and I felt a similar need to let all that out.
As adults, sometimes we are so stoic that it’s hard to keep our composure. We all need to let go of our emotions and just be a little stoic. My toddler’s blanket was my safe place that day. Sometimes, it’s funny that I want to do what toddlers do for comfort, such as cry out loud and wrap myself in something familiar and soft.
5. I whined until I got my way
It was my biggest moment. On a Saturday morning, I desperately needed coffee. I couldn’t function without my caffeine fix in the morning. So I cried out to my husband, “I need coffee.” I CANNOT function without coffee.” I didn’t ask; I demanded. Could you please get me a coffee and a chocolate croissant at that café I like down the street? Now. Please? Like, now?”
My husband did not resist. He returned smiling after he went to get me coffee. What about that croissant? It was amazing. The toddler in me was ecstatic, not only because I got coffee but also because I managed to manipulate the situation by whining. Toddler behaviour at its finest!
6. “I’m doing a poo! “
You’ve heard it a hundred times as a parent: “Mummy, please let me go to the toilet!” This is one of the classic toddler phrases that they shout out to everyone in the house, no matter who is listening. You know, I admit that I do it too.
When my children were banging at the door of the bathroom while I was trying for a few moments of peace, one day I loudly announced, “I am doing a poo!” As if I needed the world to know what I was doing. In an instant, I felt like I was back in my childhood. Who needs privacy if you can tell everyone about your bodily functions?
7. I need a sleep aid
One night, I couldn’t sleep. Nothing worked. I kept turning and tossing. I did what every toddler would do: I turned on some soothing, calming music. I put on one of the lullaby tracks that my toddler had made, and I fell asleep within minutes. The routine was not the same, but close. It would be great if someone brought me warm milk and patted my back as I fell asleep.
Sincerely, I have realised that the simple routine of a toddler is deeply comforting: soft music and a calm environment. There’s also a feeling of security. I think that maybe I should embrace this peaceful state more often and be like my toddler.
What Should You Do If Your Child Is Acting Out?
It’s easy to punish or shame our children when they misbehave. How can we avoid the same mistake? We’re all humans, and we as parents are bound to make mistakes. It’s easy for us to forget that children are constantly learning, growing, testing their boundaries and trying to figure out how to handle their strong emotions. As parents, we are also constantly evolving.
Shame is a powerful tool, but not the best way to change behaviour. It might be effective in the short term, but it can cause emotional scars with time. I have indeed felt the urge to shame my children, especially when they misbehave. It’s more effective and kinder to focus on delight than shame.
Enjoy Parenting With Delight
Consider this: The story of the Prodigal Son teaches us about true parenting. It is about seeing our children, embracing them, and celebrating them. It’s about acknowledging their inherent value, regardless of any mistakes they have made. We don’t only correct bad behaviour when we focus on delight. Instead, we celebrate and encourage positive growth.
We can learn as parents from the way that the father in the story loved his son unconditionally, even though he was far away from home. By focusing on the strengths of our children and encouraging them when they go awry, we can adopt that same mentality in our parenting.
The conclusion of the article is:
There will be ups and downs to parenting, but ultimately, it is about growing and learning from our mistakes. We will all have moments when we behave like toddlers. It’s okay. It’s important to know how we react in those situations, for both ourselves and our children. We can create stronger and more positive relationships with children by leading with empathy, understanding and delight, rather than shame.
