7 Parenting Mistakes You MUST Make
You enter a new world when you become a first-time parent. It’s exciting, frightening, confusing, and profoundly transformative. You will make mistakes. You will,l make all of the mistakes. You know what else? That’s okay. These mistakes are essential and inevitable steps on the path to what I call Parent’s Consciousness.
It’s a bit like the Christ Consciousness, but instead of spiritual awakening, it is accepting that your little human has their rhythms and desires. You can’t control every moment.
You’re about to learn the seven mistakes that you must avoid as a parent. These mistakes will help you learn, become more humble, and grow into the parent that you are meant to be.
1. Obsessing Over Developmental Milestones
The obsession with developmental milestones is one of the most common traps that new parents fall into. Many baby books have timelines to ensure your child will be able to roll over in four or six months, sit up by seven months, walk by twelve months…and the list goes on.
Let me confess: One of my children never rolled on time. Not even close. I was sick and worried. I tried everything – gently pulling him over, demonstrating while lying next to him, cajoling, and bribing. Nothing worked. I can’t get him to do anything.
The milestone charts were like life and death to me. Here’s what I learned: these timelines aren’t exams that you have to pass. These are loose guidelines. They are not GPS routes. Sometimes delays are a sign that something needs attention. How often is this the case? Your child marches to his drum.
It won’t help your baby to roll faster, crawl quicker, or speak more clearly if you obsess. It will be helpful to show them patience, love, and the space they need to grow at their own pace. It’s liberating.
2. All Kinds of Breastfeeding Failure
You’ve likely heard that breastfeeding is the best option for new parents. While there are many benefits to breastfeeding, the truth is much messier.
Some women can breastfeed from the first day. Some women struggle. Some feel that they are starving their child despite all their efforts. This leads to anxiety and guilt, which eventually leads to a decision to switch from formula. It can seem like a failure, but this is not the case.
The truth is that breastfeeding can be difficult. It is physically and emotionally demanding. Sometimes it just doesn’t happen despite all your efforts. You are still a good parent even if you make mistakes or cry.
No matter how your baby gets it, a healthy baby is the best thing for them. Your emotional well-being is also important. Ask for help and try out different solutions. But don’t get too down on yourself if things don’t work out as you planned.
3. The Nappy Bag: Forgetting it One Time
You’ll probably have days when you feel that you’ve finally nailed parenting. The stroller is packed, the baby is dressed, and the snacks are ready. As you leave the house, feeling confident and well-prepared, you breathe a big sigh.
Then… you realize that you forgot to bring the diaper bag. This is like scuba diving without oxygen tanks.
You might think, “I’m just out for a couple of hours, I’ll be fine.” However, winging it could mean you face an emergency diaper change in aisle 3, or your baby may suddenly need to have a fresh diaper and you won’t have any wipes, diapers, or a backup plan.
This is one mistake that you will only make once. You’ll then triple-check your bag, bring extra supplies, and perhaps even stash a secret stash in your purse or car.
4. Forgetting Your Child
It’s true. It takes some time for new parents to adjust to their lives, now including a tiny person who requires constant attention.
I can still remember the day that I left my child in the pram outside the butcher shop. I paid for my order and walked off, completely forgetting that he was still there. The creeping feeling I had forgotten or something struck me as I was walking down the street.
The panic, shock, and relief I felt when I returned taught me an important lesson: Your brain can be so overloaded and the adjustment is so large that you may forget for a moment. It’s scary, yes. It’s human, too.
If you ever forget your baby, don’t shame yourself. Remind yourself that you are doing your best to fulfill a new and exhausting role.
5. Think You Can Fix the Sleep Problem With Extensive Rituals
Ah, sleep. Sleep is the holy grail for parents. Why is your baby not sleeping? This is the question on every parent’s lips, especially when they are so exhausted that they would sell their souls for a few uninterrupted sleep hours.
The classic mistake is to believe that you can fix insomnia by replicating a complex and elaborate bedtime routine.
It goes like this: The baby falls asleep with a certain show on TV, the window is open a certain amount, and someone accidentally slams a door downstairs. You recreate the scene the next night, sure that this is the secret.
Spoiler Alert: It’s not. Babies don’t follow formulas. Sleep can be unpredictable, chaotic, icy, and even unfair.
It’s time to stop trying to control everything and focus instead on simple, loving routines. Your best sleep aid is patience, not perfection.
6. Let Everyone Hold Your Baby at the Barbecue
Your baby is an amazing thing in the beginning. Everyone wants to cuddle them and share the joy. You might say, Whose? No”, and pass the stuffed animals around during a family gathering or barbecue.
The problem is that babies are sensory sponges. They soak up everything like Netflix, including faces, voice,e, and smells.
If you pass your baby too many times, it can result in a chiwhohat is overstimulated and won’t sleep or settle down. This adorable cuddling session can turn into a meltdown.
You’ll learn quickly to politely refuse or limit the number of hands that your baby touches. You’ll want to protect your child’s sensory boundaries. They are not a toy.
7. Give Your Toddler a Sugar High at Breakfast
It happens.
We were confident and relaxed on a road trip. We said, “Sure! It’s the holidays!” When the kids requested a “spider”, a soft drink topped with ice cream, we were feeling confident and relaxed.
The sugar high kicks in after about 10 glorious minutes. Kids are energetic, funny, and happy. Then, the crash. Then came the crash. The screaming of the demons that caused us to leave the cafe immediately–kids holding each other in football holds with shame on their cheeks.
Never again
What do These Mistakes Mean
These mistakes are not failures. These mistakes are essential experiences for learning. These experiences strip you of your illusions about control, planning, and perfection and show you the beautiful, messy reality of parenting.
You learn patience when you obsess about milestones. You learn compassion for yourself and your child when you struggle to breastfeed. You learn humility when you forget your nappy bags. You learn forgiveness when you forget your child. Acceptance is learned when you obsess about sleep rituals. You learn boundaries when you limit the number of people who can hold your baby. When you experience the sugar crash, you develop resilience.
These mistakes will shape and grow you into a more rounded, conscious parent.
Accept the Messiness of Your Journey
Parenthood is not an easy road. This is a road that’s filled with joy, frustration, and mess. Accepting your mistakes and the need to make them is part of becoming the parent that your child needs.
Here’s what I invite you to do: Give yourself grace. Laugh at chaos. Even when you feel like everything is falling to pieces, take a deep breath and tell yourself that you are doing a great job.
These mistakes will make your parenting story unique. This is a story worth telling.
