You Can Make Your Kids Feel Deeply Loved by Saying These 9 Heartfelt Things to Them.
One day, I was kneeling in the kitchen, my skirt dripping with tears not mine. My little boy, who is usually full of curiosity and joy, was crying into my legs. He was heartbroken. What was the culprit? The culprit? A missing sticker, a small reward that he did not receive, while his classmates proudly displayed theirs.
Through his sniffling, I could not make out what he was saying. Maybe he didn’t know why he hadn’t received one. Or maybe he needed a hug. In that moment, however, I noticed something more: His need to be seen, loved, and reassured.
I wrapped him in a big hug and rubbed his back. Then, softly saying, “You’ll be getting a sticker the following week, you just wait.” You are always kind to your friends. “I love it when you do that.”
The storm was gone in a flash. He beamed and his face lit up. Then he ran back to the sunshine of the afternoon, as if the storm had never happened.
Words matter.
Our words as parents are mirrors through which children learn about their value, their talent, and their place in this world. Compliments are free, but can have a profound impact on a child’s emotional landscape.
Today I’m going to share with you nine loving and meaningful things that you can say to any child, whether they are small enough to climb on your lap, or large enough to borrow shoes. These aren’t magic words, but rather heartfelt expressions they will remember long after the bedtime stories and school days fade.
1. “I Like it When …”
This simple phrase can be used to create a multitude of beautiful affirmations. This is not only about recognizing your child’s efforts, but also about celebrating the connection. You’re telling your child that you care about them when you say, “I love it whenever …” followed by an experience, habit, or quality.
Try this:
- I love it when we make cookies on Sunday afternoons. “You’re my best little helper.”
- It’s so nice when you come to my door after work to welcome me. “It makes my day.”
- I love it when you laugh that way. It’s one of the happiest sounds I know.
They create a safety net for your child’s emotional well-being. These small statements remind your child that they can bring you joy by simply being themselves.
2. “You Are So Good At …”
Recognizing a child’s strengths, no matter how minor they may seem, is a great way to boost their confidence. Point out their strengths, whether they are artistic, athletic, or clever. They may also be passionate about Legos or dinosaurs. By naming a strength, you can help someone see themselves positively.
Be specific! Say:
- You’re very good at solving puzzles. “You always find a solution.”
- You’re good at making her laugh when she is sad. It’s an amazing gift.
- You’re amazing in your ability to remember facts about animals. You could become a wildlife expert one day!
They encourage them to grow and develop. These affirmations also show children that they are all unique and have something to celebrate.
3. “On Your Day of Birth, I Felt …”
It’s not just sentimental to tell your child about the day of their birth. It’s also deeply affirming. Children are curious by nature about their origins. We are telling them that they were loved, wanted, and cherished right from the beginning when we share these moments.
It can be a tradition at bedtime, or you can simply tell it on special occasions:
- “On the day of your birth, I shed so many happy tears.” “I couldn’t believe that you were finally here.”
- When I first held you, my heart grew three sizes.
- You were perfect. “You were perfect.”
Speak from your heart. Don’t worry if you embellish. The goal is not to create a perfect story, but rather to give your child the sense that they are rooted in love.
4. Can You Explain to Me What I’m Supposed To Do? It’s Awesome .”
It’s magical when the parent takes on the role of the student, and the child assumes the role of the teacher. This allows your child to step up and become confident and proud.
Asking them to teach is a way of saying, “What you do counts.” I respect your skills.”
You might say:
- Can you show me the trick you did on your skateboard? “That was awesome.”
- I love the way you fold your paper planes. Teach me to fly one like you.”
- You’re very good at using the art app. “Show me how it works!”
It not only increases self-esteem, but it also creates a deeper bond. This shows your child your genuine admiration and not just a parental duty.
5. “I Love You.”
This simple phrase may seem obvious, but we often forget its importance amid chaos. Repeat it frequently. Speak it often, even in the quietest moments.
Everything else is built on the foundation of “I love you”. Your child needs this message more than anything, not only when they are successful but also when they fail.
Say:
- I love you just as you are.
- I love you, even when things go awry.
- “I love you, because you are you.”
Never assume that they know. Speak it loudly. Say it out loud.
6. I Heard You Say Something Kind or Helpful. It Was So Nice .”
Children often wonder if you notice the quieter moments they have — when they are thoughtful, kind, or wise, without expecting any reward. You can show them you are paying attention when you remember something they did or said.
You could do something as simple as comforting a close friend or helping a younger sibling. You can, for example:
- I heard you telling your brother that it was fine when he spilled the drink. It was very nice of you.”
- You told your school friend that she could borrow your pencil. You are very thoughtful.
- I noticed that you were patient today, even though you wanted to be the first. This showed great patience.”
These observations enhance empathy and self-awareness. They say, “I’m proud of you and I see you.”
7. You’re a Good Friend to [name]. You Always [positive action].”
Children’s friendships are an important part of their world. Recognizing the importance they have in another person’s life can be a powerful experience. Complementing social interactions, especially those that include or support other people, can encourage a feeling of community and compassion.
Try saying:
- You’re a good friend to Sarah. You’re so kind to invite Sarah to play.
- You helped Sam find his bag. You care for others.
- You’re always thinking of their feelings.
When children feel appreciated as friends, they are more likely to be loyal, kind, and emotionally intelligent.
8. “Thanks for Being So Kind to Grandma/Daddy/Me”
Kindness is something that should not be forgotten. In a society that rewards achievement and performance, kindness is often lost among the noise. When you praise your child’s kind words, their helpful action, or loving present,ce you reinforce that quality as important, if not even more, than any other.
Examples:
- Thank you for helping Grandma put on her coat today. It meant a great deal to her.”
- I appreciate you setting the table for me without asking. “That was very thoughtful.”
- Thank you for hugging me when I felt sad. “That helped you more than you realize.”
This type of praise will cultivate a heart for service and empathy, traits that can carry them far.
9. Say “Yes”
It’s not necessary to say “yes” to ice cream or a toy at random. Saying “yes” can mean giving your child the gift of spontaneity and joy. Jump on the trampoline with your child. Say yes to one more chapter. You can bake muffins, build a fort, or dance in the kitchen.
Even when it is not convenient, saying yes says “I care about your happiness.” “I want to share this with you.”
Say:
- “Yes, I’m in for a pillow battle.”
- “Yes, you can be the dragon!”
- “Yes, I’d like to watch your favorite film with you.”
When you say “yes”, it creates memories that will last a lifetime.
Conclusion
Not everything will go according to plan. Parenting can be messy, unpredictable, and human. Our words are one of our most powerful tools. When they are spoken with warmth, love, and intention, our words become anchors for our children to carry on into adulthood.
Speak from the heart. Speak the words that connect, affirm, and uplift. Repeat them. Stop peak them now.
Remember: When you make your child see, feel safe and loved, you are not only giving them comfort.
You’re giving your child the strength to face the future.
