I Finally Said “Yes” to My Child (and why I’m so glad I did)
Let’s face it, parenting is a constant dance between structure, spontaneity, and boundaries, between freedom and protection, and between letting our children explore the world and our living rooms in their messy, magic ways.
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You’re probably a parent, and you recognize this overly familiar soundtrack:
“No.”
“Not now.”
“Maybe later.”
“We’ll see.”
It’s an automatic reaction. We don’t do it because we like to crush their dreams, though I am convinced that my children think this is my full-time occupation. It’s because their requests are often completely impractical. Inconvenient or loud, they arrive right before dinner. Everyone is tired and has little patience.
Every once in a while, the stars do align. In one of these rare and beautiful moments, a small voice requests something imaginative, whimsical, and reasonable.
It happened to me a few months ago, and for the first time, I said yes.
What followed was a lesson in wonderment, chaos, and joy.
“Can I Sleep Here?” Moment
It was a normal evening. The dishwasher was running, and the kids were (theoretically) winding down. I mentally prepared for the battle of the nighttime resistance.
On that day, I had taken on the Herculean job of cleaning up our laundry room. Between lost socks, puzzle pieces, and too many reusable bags, I found a forgotten relic of the toddler years: a small tent that we bought at Kmart on a whim.
This was not the kind of tent that you would take with you on a camping trip. It was brightly colored and lightweight. It seemed to be intended for backyard pretend-play. When my youngest daughter first saw it, she was like a little child discovering buried treasure. Her eyes lit up. She did not hesitate to open it, set it up in her backyard, and dive into an afternoon’s imaginative play.
She transformed it into her café, her school, and her secret spy headquarters. She was happy for hours – no screens, no sibling fights, only pure creative joy.
When the sun began to set, she ran inside with her sleeping bag, a sparkle in her eye, and asked, “Can I sleep tonight in the tent–in the living room?”
My first instinct is to say no.
It was a weekend night. The next day was school and work. The living room was not very spacious. Dogs are likely to get involved. I didn’t want to rearrange my furniture.
Then I stopped.
Turning the Lounge Room into a Campsite
So I said yes.
You would have thought that I had given her the moon.
Within minutes, she was racing around the house, gathering everything she needed to transform the play tent into a real home-away-from-bedroom. She pulled out her sleeping bag from the closet, filled the tent with pillows and stuffed animals. We hadn’t even used the battery-powered lamp in years.
She was utterly, completely thrilled. I was equally as happy.
No stalling was allowed at the time of bedtime. There was no negotiating to get five minutes more. There was no sudden thirst or homework forgotten. She climbed into the tent and zipped it closed, whispering “Goodnight!” inside her nylon cocoon.
Instantly, our living room was transformed into a campground. We were not camping in the wild, nor even in our backyard. Instead, we had a campsite right in the middle of our house.
Reality Sets in (A Little Bit)
Let’s not pretend. It wasn’t easy to say “yes”.
The tent occupied quite a bit of space. The tent was a big problem because our living room wasn’t very large. There wasn’t enough room to accommodate anyone else or anything else. It was impossible to watch TV. We retreated to our bedroom to watch a TV show on the laptop that was propped up on a laundry stack. Romantic, right?
The kitchen was a minefield in the morning. Breakfast had to be delayed because the tent was blocking the fridge’s door. The coffee machine was behind enemy lines. It was guarded both by a sleeping child and a fortress made of stuffed toys. We walked on our tiptoes, whispered, and spoke in a low voice.
It was a nuisance. It disturbed our routine. It made our house seem smaller, louder, nd more cluttered.
It also felt much more alive.
Why Saying “Yes” Felt so Good
We spend a great deal of time as parents enforcing structure and sanity. While this is necessary, as kids thrive when they have routines and boundaries, it can make us feel that the default setting for “no” is always on.
No jumping up on the bed.
NNoo, painting your dog’s toenails.
No cereals in the bathroom
No, no, no.
We have the opportunity to break this cycle now and then. We don’t give up because we are giving in. Instead, we say yes to something that is harmless and sparks joy.
My daughter’s camp-out in the living room did not teach her a lesson about morality, nor did it help her with her schoolwork or reinforce her discipline. It did show her, however, that her wild ideas were sometimes worth pursuing.
She felt heard. Seen. Respected. It was a memory she will cherish for many years.
The Unexpected Lessons
The next morning, I realized these moments, the spontaneous, silly, and seemingly insignificant ones, are the ones that make up the fabric of a happy childhood.
They won’t remember the healthy meals we prepared or how we reminded them to wear jackets. But they do remember the time we let them sleep under a tent. Or have pancakes as dinner. Stay up later to see the stars.
They’ll also remember how we made them feel at those times–important and capable.
The fact that I said yes reminded me that joy is not always found in grand gestures — family vacations, expensive toys, elaborate birthday parties. Joy can be found in the $15 play tent that’s in the middle of the living room.
How to Create a “Yes!” Mindset
Since then, I have been more aware of how often I automatically say no. It’s easy for us to forget the power of a simple “yes”-how it can build connection, trust, nd delight.
Of course, we don’t want to throw out all the rules and routines. Children need structure. Children need structure, but they also require spontaneity. They need magic. They need parents who can occasionally meet them in the world they live in, instead of pulling them into theirs.
Now I ask myself, is this a “no” because it’s not a good idea in reality? Is it because I am tired, it is inconvenient, or I have just become accustomed to saying no?
It’s okay to say yes if the answer is that it will make them laugh and be harmless.
A Night to Remember
The living room campout made my daughter happy, but it also reminded me that parenthood isn’t all about rules and structures. Play is also important. It’s also about play. The unexpected joy that comes from letting your child lead.
I was reminded that “yes parenting” does not mean being permissive. It means being in the moment and being open to whimsy. Sometimes, it even means making a little space in the living room for something beautiful to happen.
Yes, it was a mess. Breakfast was delayed. I did have to move to a different place to watch my favourite show.
Would I do it again if I had the chance?
Absolutely.
Say Yes, Even Just Sometimes
Saying “yes”, however, does not mean that we have lost control. We choose connection over convenience. Imagineers over routine. Presence is more important than perfection.
Look past the inconvenience and ask yourself: em>Is this the kind of yes they’ll remember forever?/em> Ask yourself, ” Will this be the kind of yes that they will remember forever?”
One little yes could be the most memorable thing you ever do.
