You start to imagine life after your baby’s arrival, somewhere in between choosing baby names and folding all the tiny laundry you have ever seen. If you were like me, you may have also started to imagine how it would look. Not only emotionally, and not just as a mom, but also physically. Would I “bounce” back? Would I recognise the body that carried, protected and delivered a person? Learn to Love Your Stretch Marks.
I grew up reading magazine articles about miraculous transformations after childbirth. Hollywood stars have washboard abs weeks after having a baby. Influencers on social media flaunt their flawless postpartum body in matching loungewear with their newborns. The message was clear: Beautiful moms “bounce” back, and they do so fast.
In my pre-natal haze, I fell for the fantasy. My body, I thought, would reset itself once my son was born. As if a balloon deflates, and then neatly tucks back into the drawer. I imagined myself strolling through the park, a glowing complexion and a flat stomach. I would be pushing a pram as well as sipping a latte made from oats. Oh, what I didn’t know.
Learn to Love Your Stretch Marks: A Reality Check
My life was transformed in many ways after I had my son. One morning, I was stepping out of the shower when I saw my reflection in the mirror. The reality set in. My once firm skin looked as if it had softened into folds. My stomach and hips were covered in angry red lines. I blinked. I looked again. They were there. They were still there. Stubborn. Visible. Permanent.
These were my stretch marks. They are now called my strength marks.
Then, I did not see any strength. I saw loss. I saw loss. Loss of self-confidence. I lost the confidence that I would be able to snap back and pretend nothing had happened.
I was devastated. I did not want to be this new version of myself–the squishier and softer version with stretch marks. I wanted to be my old self again. I believed that by exercising enough, eating healthy, or applying cocoa butter religiously, I could erase any evidence that I was a human being who had been born, grown, and carried.
Spoiler Alert: I didn’t.
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You Are Not Alone and You Never Were Meant To Be
As it turns out, my problem wasn’t me. I was not failing. I was just being normal. Over half of women, according to studies, will develop stretch marks during pregnancy. This is not a defect. That’s biology. The rapid stretch that occurs during pregnancy causes our skin to tear at the dermal layers. It’s not pretty. It’s not glamorous. It’s not glamorous, but it’s not shameful.
For a long period of time, I did not talk about it. Both physically and emotionally, I kept these parts of me hidden. Tops that are too baggy. High-waisted everything. Swimsuits that have strategic ruching. The deep desire to “fix” everything one day.
Something changed. I was scrolling through Instagram one night (you know what you’re doing) long after everyone else in my house went to bed. A photo caught me mid-scrolling. The woman was proudly wearing her underwear. No filters or airbrushing. She had the same soft stomach as I did, but it was marked with silver lines. She wasn’t trying to hide. She was a.
StrengthMarks: The #StrengthMarks Movement is Growing
The caption read, “These are the marks of my strength.” My motherhood journey as a roadmap. “The art my body created as it built life.”
I was stunned. And I felt seen.
I clicked the hashtag–#strengthmarks–and was immediately transported into a community I didn’t even know existed. I saw post after post of women sharing their postpartum bodies. Not out of pity. Not for pity. They are proof that their bodies have done incredible things.
All kinds of stories were told. One mother of twins talked about her beautiful belly bearing the marks of two lives. One woman shared that her body was covered with stretch marks due to weight fluctuations over the course of her life. She’d learned to love them all. One mum joked: “I have more squiggles on my body than a toddler’s art project, but I wouldn’t change a single one.”
The stories all echoed a powerful message: Your stretch marks are not something to be ashamed of.
Celebrities are finally starting to appear
When people in the limelight also set an example, it helps. Chrissy Teigen was famous for posting a close-up of her stretch marks, referring to them as “stretchies” and refusing to use Photoshop. Rihanna was spotted wearing crop tops with stretch marks, even during her postpartum and pregnancy period. Lady Gaga also spoke about how the changes in her body have made her stronger.
These marks are a constant reminder that the human body, even when it is surrounded by the best stylists, lighting and trainers, will still be human. If they’re not immune to stretch marks, why should we expect to be?
Understanding Why Stretch Marks Happen
Stretch marks are not just a cosmetic problem. They’re also a response to rapid weight or growth changes. As your belly grows and hormones such as cortisol are increased, the skin’s elasticity is reduced. What’s the result? The result?
You can get them on your stomach, but also your breasts and thighs. They may even appear on your arms. While maintaining a healthy body weight and keeping your skin hydrated can help, genetics also play a major role. You are likely to get them if your mother did. It’s a gift, not a failure. It’s an inheritance.
Stop pretending that miracle creams and oils can remove them. They might at best soften the appearance. What about the real work? That’s internal. It’s emotional. Perspective is key.
Change the Narrative – From Shame to Pride
I spent far too long hiding. I missed beach days, swimming pool parties, and even trying on clothes in the changing rooms. I didn’t join in with spontaneous, fun moments with my family as I was preoccupied with how I looked.
One day, as I watched my son playing in the waves, something struck me. He didn’t mind if my stomach jiggled as I ran. He didn’t even notice the stretch marks. What he noticed was whether I played, laughed, or swam alongside him. To him, I am Mum. Whole. Beautiful. Safe.
Slowly, I started to change. Instead of seeing my stomach as something to be ashamed of, I began to look at it with reverence. This is the part of my body that expanded in order to accommodate my child. These marks were the result of love and life. These are my battle scars, from the most intense and incredible journey that I have ever experienced.
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Choose to embrace, not erase
But I won’t pretend to be fearless. I have not quite dared to share a picture of myself with #strengthmark on social media. One day. But I’ve stopped hiding.
I wear the crop top. I wear a crop top. Stretch marks are visible when I dance with my children in my pyjama bottoms. I remind myself I’m not here to meet some impossible standard of perfection. I am here to experience. And I won’t spend another summer in the shade watching life pass me by.
When I see my stretch marks, I try and remember what they are really: proof of strength.
A Message for You If You Are Struggling
You may be reading this article and not yet recognising the face in your mirror.
You are not the only one. Your body is not wrong. Your skin is not a sign of inferiority, beauty, or power.
Rewrite the stories we have been told. We should teach our daughters to understand that a beautiful, healthy body is not necessarily flawless or smooth. It has been lived and nurtured. A body with stories etched on its surface shows that it’s a living, nurturing body.
Normalise the norm
Celebrate what our bodies can do, not how they used to look.
Here are the strength marks. The wiggly line. Tiger stripes. The badges of motherhood.
We must learn to love our pets.
We will never let anyone stop us from loving ourselves.
