Lamb vs Rooster

How your child's Temperament Influences your Parenting Style

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Children arrive with their temperament.

Even before they walk, talk, or even learn how to use a spoon, their personalities already show. This early temperament can have a profound impact on the way we behave as parents, caregivers or dads.

What does this mean to us?

I often use the “Lamb vs Rooster Continuum” to explain this concept.

Meet the Lamb vs Rooster

Imagine for a second two famous cartoon characters. Remember Linus, from the Peanuts cartoon strip? He is soft-spoken and gentle.

Imagine Dennis The Menace. Loud, energetic, and always pushing the boundaries. This is, my dear reader, a full-blown rooster.

These two archetypes can help us visualise the basic spectrum in childhood temperament. The majority of children don’t fit into either category. They are more likely to be somewhere in the middle. Some are gentle roosters who have a touch of rooster, while others are roosters who are boisterous with a hint of lambish sensibility.

Labelling your child is not the way to find out where they tend to lean. Understanding them is key to adjusting parenting so that we support the person they are and not what we hope they will be.

Break it down.

The Rooster Child

You’re likely raising a rooster if you find yourself crashing onto the couch every night at 8:15 pm, wondering if it’s been a long day instead of raising a child.

The Rooster Children are energetic, persistent, and exhausting, in the best way possible.

Common Rooster Traits

Independent
Stubborn
Argumentative
Impulsive
Strong-willed
Fast Learners
Dramatic and entertaining
Highly energetic
Curious and adventurous
Often challenging authority

Sounds familiar?

The kids with “high needs” are described as having “strong personalities”. They can be bright and command attention, but can also push your boundaries and make you doubt your parenting abilities.

The Rooster Challenge

Roosters will question your every move — your logic, your instructions and even your sanity.

This could be interpreted as disrespect or defiance. Here’s the truth: They’re not trying to frustrate you. They are wired for clarity and autonomy.

They want to know why they should put on their shoes or why bedtime is at 7:30 and not 8:00. It’s not all about control, even though it may feel like it. Instead, they desire to assert themselves.

It can be a difficult task for parents to do this, especially if they were raised in a culture where we “did as we were told” and never asked questions. Even if it is uncomfortable, encouraging children to be self-assured will help them grow up and stand up for themselves.

How To Support A Rooster

Here are some suggestions to help you constructively channel the rooster’s energy:

Give choices: Instead of giving commands, offer limited choices. This gives them freedom within a set framework.
Promote physical activity. Roosters require regular outlets to release their energy. Consider bike rides, trampoline play, rough and tumble games, or sports. Nature or creative environments like music or drama are often where they thrive.
Motivate your kids with challenges. These kids love a challenge. Set small goals, tasks that are time-based, or “missions” in order to make your daily routines more interesting.
Teach Empathy Early: Lay the foundation for emotional awareness and empathy before the age of 5. If roosters are not guided, they may be bossy and domineering when in a group setting.
Be firm and loving in your boundaries. They need to know what is expected of them, but also feel heard. Do not mistake their maturity for confidence. They still need guidance, even if you push them away.

The Lamb Child

Let’s now flip the coin.

You may be raising a Lamb if your child is a quiet player, gets overwhelmed by noise, or clings to you during birthday parties.

Lambs are usually gentle, sensitive and peaceful. Although they make parenting seem simple, they still require the same amount of care and consideration.

Common Lamb Traits

Sensitive towards loud noises, criticism and other forms of criticism
Likes routines
Emotionally attuned
Shy or introverted
Large group struggles
Considerate and patient
Always be cautious
Under pressure, withdrawals are made
Empathy and caring
Recharge your batteries by spending time alone

The Lamb Challenge

Lambs might not be able to throw tantrums at the supermarket, but they can internalise stress, fear or sadness more deeply.

Instead of acting out, they may cry in their room. Some kids may not take risks that others do. They may also find it difficult to speak up for themselves if they are naturally more accommodating.

Lambs need parents who can help develop confidence slowly and who will nurture their quiet nature.

How to support a lamb

The lambs require a different approach to parenting than their rooster sibling. Here are some things that can help:

Respect the pace: Allow lambs to get used to social situations. Forcing interactions too quickly can lead to anxiety and long-term avoidance.
Encourage them to take small risks. Support their willingness to learn new things, not by pushing but by guiding. It’s more helpful to say “I’ll be close by while you climb,” than “Come on! You can do it!”
Validate your sensitivity: Sensitivity does not equal weakness. It is often at the core of empathy. Teach your children to acknowledge and respect their own emotions.
Establish predictable routines. Lambs love to know what is next. They can find comfort in routines.
Teach assertiveness: Roleplay situations or discuss with them how they may need to say no or ask for assistance. Over time, these small skills will become more valuable.
Limit your exposure to disturbing media. Lambs can be deeply affected by images or stories. Even distant tragedies that were reported in the news can stay with them. You should be aware of what you are letting them watch and hear.

Roosters & Lambs from the Same Family

When you have one of each, under the same roof, parenting becomes more exciting.

Your rooster is probably bouncing around the room while your lamb covers their ears. Your lamb may be quietly colouring while your rooster declares a hunger strike, because the dinner they like isn’t as good.

Although exhausting, it is also an opportunity.

The two can teach each other life skills.

Roosters help lambs gain confidence and courage.
Roosters can learn emotional sensitivity and gentleness from lambs.

But it doesn’t just happen. Intentional parent-ing is required. This means seeing each child clearly and responding to their needs.

The Delicate Balance

Every child should feel accepted and loved for who they are, not what we would like them to be. Truthfully, temperament is more important than we realise in the way we parent.

Comparing ourselves and our children to others is tempting. Why is her toddler so calm? “Why do I feel like my child is always challenging me?” These comparisons are not helpful.

Instead of asking, “Why is my kid like that?” we should ask, “How can I meet my child’s individual needs?”

Every child asks the same question, whether they are a raging rooster or a little lamb.

Do you hear me? Do you hear me? Will you accept me as I am now?

If we can “yes” in our words, actions, boundaries and patience, we will be doing an amazing job.

Final Thoughts

Parenting isn’t a one-size-fits-all journey. You and your child are in a relationship that is constantly changing.

Temperament doesn’t determine our fate, but is a starting place – a map to help us navigate with greater clarity and compassion.

Respect your child for who they are, whether it’s a little lamb that needs gentle encouragement or a rooster that needs respectable boundaries and room to roam. In the process, honour yourself.

It’s not because you find it difficult that you are failing. It IS difficult. It’s especially hard when you have to raise humans who are challenging in every way.

You’re not the only one. You’re the perfect parent for your child.