How to Survive Life with Your Velcro Baby
How to Survive Life with Your Velcro Baby
Being a parent requires constant adjustments. Sleepless nights, constant feeding, and changing diapers seem to never end. There’s also the emotional rollercoaster. One moment you’re in awe at this tiny person you created. The next moment you feel exhausted and overwhelmed. One of the hardest phases for new parents is when their child becomes a velcro baby – clinging on to them and never wanting to let go.
After a long and soothing feed, your newborn is finally sleeping in your arms. You think to yourself, “I can finally get some peace, and take the shower I have been longing for.” Slowly standing up, you gently cradle your baby in your arms. Imagine the warmth of the water as it washes over you.
Your baby’s eyes will snap open the second their head touches the bed. Before you know it, their face will crumple and they will start to wail. You sigh and pick up your child again without thinking twice. Your baby snuggles up to you as soon as you return and falls asleep.
Sigh. Netflix will be waiting. What about your shower? Your shower will have to wait too.
Does this sound familiar? You’re not the only one who feels that this situation is a never-ending cycle. It can be overwhelming to go through the “velcro baby phase” as a new parent. Take a deep breath before you begin to worry that your baby may be trying to manipulate you or if something is wrong. This is completely normal behaviour. Explore why you need your baby so much and learn how to not only survive but thrive during this stage.

Why is my baby so clingy?
Understanding that your baby’s clingy behaviour is not an indication of your parenting skills is essential. You’re not doing anything wrong and your baby’s behaviour is not to “manipulate”. The need for your baby to be near you is biologically hardwired, and it’s necessary for survival.
Your baby was always surrounded by warmth, comfort and safety in utero. Your body gave them everything they needed, including nutrition, protection and a feeling of safety. You have never left your baby, so the world is huge and intimidating to them when they are born. To feel safe in this new and vast world, they need to be close to you.
Your warmth, your smell, the sound and the comfort of your heartbeat surround your baby when you hold them. These things all create a feeling of security and comfort. When you put down your baby, it loses those familiar sensations and everything suddenly feels uncertain. Your absence could feel as if it is a threat to your baby’s well-being.
This is a natural instinct for a baby. To feel safe and thrive, your baby must stay close to you. The baby doesn’t have the cognitive abilities to know that you are close or will be back soon. They cry to let you know that they are in need. This is not a way to manipulate you, but rather a way for them to ask for comfort and assurance.
Your baby is not trying to spoil you
This phase is often misunderstood. Many people believe that by responding to the cries of your baby, you will spoil them or develop bad habits. This myth is false. Your baby can’t be spoilt at this age. They do not have the mental ability to “manipulate you” into doing whatever they want. They are responding to a deep desire for safety, comfort and connection.
It is not spoiling your baby to give them the physical contact they desire. Meeting your baby’s comfort and reassurance needs will make them feel safe, and this in turn will encourage them to develop trust in both you and their environment. This will help them develop the confidence and security they need over time. As your child grows, they’ll become more independent and eventually explore the world on their own.
If you feel “spoiled” because your baby is clingy, don’t worry. They aren’t trying to manipulate. They’re simply learning that you are always there for them when they need you. This is one of the most valuable things you can teach your baby in his or her early months.
The Fourth Trimester – Easing Your Baby into the World
In the first three months after your baby’s birth, the term “fourth trimester” is often used to describe the time when your baby adjusts to life outside the womb. In the fourth trimester, your baby should feel secure and safe as they make the transition from your womb to the outside.
Your baby will be highly dependent on your care during this period. Your warmth, touch and presence are all they need to feel secure. It can seem like you are always meeting your baby’s demands and never taking a break as a new parent. Try to see this as an important time for your baby’s physical and emotional development. Your baby is learning to trust you, to connect with you, and to navigate their environment.
The fourth trimester is a time for bonding with your baby. It can be challenging but it’s also an important time. You are teaching your baby that you’re their protector, comforter, and safe place. Even though this can be exhausting, it is an important part of your baby’s development.

What to do with your Velcro Baby
You’re not the only one who feels like you are glued to your couch, with a baby always in your arms. This stage is common for many parents. It can be physically and emotionally exhausting, but it’s rewarding. There are ways to meet your baby’s needs while surviving this phase.
1. Use a baby carrier
A baby carrier is one of the best tools to survive life with a Velcro baby. You can keep your baby close to you while freeing your hands up to do other things, such as eat, clean or go for a walk. Babywearing allows your baby to feel secure and safe while allowing you to do other things.
You can choose from a variety of different baby carriers. From wraps to structured carriers. It’s well worth trying a few out to find the one that works best for you and your child. It should be ergonomic and comfortable for you and your child, as well as supportive of the baby’s growing body. You can keep your baby close to you while being able to move about and do other things.
2. Ask for help
Ask for help if you can. Asking for help can be difficult, and many new parents are embarrassed to ask. But you don’t have to do it all alone. You can ask a friend or relative to hold your child while you take a rest. You can benefit from having someone else help you, whether it’s to shower, eat or just have some time to yourself.
Consider hiring a doula to help you through this difficult time if you are unable to find family or friends who can assist you. It is important to take care of yourself, both physically and mentally.
3. Tag Team with your Partner
Share the burden if you are with a partner. Both parents must get enough rest when they are caring for a newborn. Hold the baby and feed it alternately. Do other household tasks. You’ll have the chance to recharge and rest by sharing tasks.
4. Give up the need for perfection
While it is easy to become overwhelmed by the need to make everything perfect, it’s also important to let go. Your primary focus in the early stages should be bonding with your child and meeting their emotional requirements. It’s okay if the laundry piles or dishes remain unwashed. Later, you’ll be able to do those things.
Instead, take the time to relax and enjoy your baby. Find ways to enjoy the quiet moments, whether it is by reading, watching a favourite show or snuggling up on the couch. This phase will not last forever and soon your child will be exploring on their own.
5. Get Outside
Take your baby on a stroll if you are feeling restless and agitated. A change of scenery and fresh air can be beneficial to your mental health. With a baby carrier, you can take your child for a stroll while staying connected. You can reduce your stress by walking outside. It also allows you to get out of the house for a while.
6. You won’t be in this phase forever
Remember that this phase is temporary. As your baby grows and learns new skills, they will become increasingly independent. Soon, your baby will be crawling and walking. They’ll also be exploring the world on their own without you.
This can be a difficult phase but it is also one that you will remember fondly. Clinginess in your baby is a sign that they are seeking connection and security. By responding to this need, you will help them become a confident, secure person.

Conclusion
A velcro child can be both rewarding and exhausting. It can be exhausting to have a velcro baby, as the constant need for physical proximity can overwhelm you at times. You will find yourself with very little time. You may feel as if you are fighting a constant battle to balance your emotional needs with those of your child. It’s normal to feel tired, and it’s okay. It can be a bit of a hassle to have your child cling to you all the time, but it is important to realise that it is part of their growth.
Clinginess in your baby is not an indication of bad behaviour or lack of independence. It’s just a natural reaction to the environment around them. Your baby will learn to trust you by staying close. You are the safe place, constant and protector of your baby. By providing them with the security and comfort they need, you are helping to build their resilience and emotional well-being.
The intense attachment phase is creating a bond that will allow them to become confident, independent individuals. Your presence is all they need right now. You are providing them with the security and safety they need, even if it is tiring.
Remember that this phase will pass. It may seem endless, but the moment when your child will begin to explore the world independently will arrive faster than you expect. You will soon find your baby crawling and walking and seeking independence. You may even miss those quiet moments of cuddling. Even though it’s hard, you should cherish these moments. Enjoy the cuddles as long as they last and don’t forget that you are doing a great job. You are giving your baby the love and care that he or she needs to become a happy child.