Remember those long-ago weekends when you could sleep in, and indulge in a three-hour breakfast/brunch/cocktail hour with a mate before doing a quick stroll around the shops or spending the afternoon at the spa? How mums can sneak in me-time just doesn’t seem to happen anymore. No. No.
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Creative Ways for Mums to Enjoy Some Well-Deserved Me-Time
Mummy-me-time is a completely different experience. There are fewer opportunities to be alone. You just have to be creative! You can now look forward to some me-time as a mother:
1. Shop Alone for Groceries
It is a sad event when a single person makes a trip to the spice aisle in the supermarket. You can take your time to buy what you need, rather than the frantic shopping you do with your children.
2. Visit the Dentist to Get a Through Cleaning
We all hated it as children, but now we enjoy spending an hour in a comfy chair, just zoning out. Even a visit to the doctor to get a Pap test can be a great experience.
3. Solo Car Rides
Windows down. Music on. Sunnies on. Two empty car seats are in the back. This is how I drive… until I reach the pick-up zone.
4. Nap Time
It’s not a problem if you sleep with your child and he isn’t really asleep, but instead covering his sister in moisturiser. You can also add “spots”, or black liquid eyeliner, to her legs.
5. Eat Your Entire Meal Without Anyone Touching You or Your Food
It’s not clear why, but my food always seems more appealing than the same meal my daughter makes. The food tastes better when she sits on me and backwashes in my water while taking the best bites. It is a luxury to be able to sit with my plate and eat my food without anyone touching it.
6. Hide and Seek
You hide, and Mummy finds you (although I will probably have a cup of coffee first).
7. Hair Appointments
You can spend two hours on yourself, reading trashy magazines, having your head massaged, or enjoying a cup of coffee. You’ll probably have an adult conversation. This is the perfect mummy and scenario.
8. Between 11 pm and 12 am, When You Are Alone in Bed.
Then, the whole night is usually music beds. Me-time may include sleeping in your son’s bed for a few hours after he has taken over yours.
9. Toilets
It’s depressing. I know. Normally, I lock the door and say “I’m going to the bathroom,” then paint my nails, pluck my brows, and play Candy Crush while sitting on tiled floors.
Mums and Dads, this is what luxury loo likes.
Self-Care Tips for Busy Mothers: Stealing Moments
When my two youngest children (1 and 3), stopped napping around the same time every day, I had to make it a priority to take time out for myself. My youngest still needed to be nursed every 1.5-2 hours, and I was driving my oldest to school every morning at 6:35 am.
While they were both napping at the same time, I could shower, nap, and do some things around the home when they took extra-long naps. When they stopped napping together, and I was forced to be “on” the entire day, I struggled. HARD. It was hard to wake up early in the mornings. I felt so tired that it became impossible to do. Some days, it was hard to find the time to shower, and if I had the chance to do anything at all, I would pass out.
My husband and I decided to give me an hour each morning after dropping off my daughter to refill my cup. It was tempting at first to squeeze in some household chores during this time, but I soon realised that I regretted not taking that time out for myself.
So I began to dedicate that time exclusively to going upstairs and meditating in headphones for 10-15 minutes. Then, showering and getting prepared for the day. That’s it. My husband prepares everyone for school and breakfasts the three younger children during this time. I take over the house while my husband showers and gets to work.
This may not work for everyone. Maybe you can get up earlier and wake everyone else before them. If so, then I would recommend that you do it at that time. Do what you feel is best for your family.
Here are some ideas that will help you start!
1. Be an Early Bird
Wake up just a little earlier than your family. It may seem counterintuitive, but waking up early and enjoying the quiet serenity at dawn with a cup of hot coffee in your hand can be magical. You can use this time to read, meditate or just stare out of the window. Let the sunshine on your face in the mornings as the sun rises earlier.
2. The Naptime Hustle – Nix
Resist the urge to rush through your list of tasks if your children are still napping. Spend some of this time doing something for yourself. Make it count, whether it’s reading a chapter, doing a project, or taking a catnap. Set a timer for 20 minutes and get the job done so that you can recharge and rest before your naptime ends.
3. Tag Team
Communication is key. Tell your partner, or someone who can support you, that you need some personal time. You can schedule blocks of time where you both are on child duty and the other gets some guilt-free free time. It’s not a solo race but a relay. My husband took over breakfast in the morning and got the kids ready. I swear, I became a much better person. It’s really helpful to have that “me” time, without feeling as if I am neglecting my family.
4. Portable Passions
Do you have a passion or hobby that you can carry with you? Great! You can enjoy your hobby wherever you are. Whether it’s at soccer practice or on the playground, keep a small bag handy. This can be achieved by knitting, reading a Kindle, or drawing digitally. I love to listen to podcasts and read on my phone.
5. The Sacred “No”,
You can learn to say “no” and not feel guilty. You can decline invitations and responsibilities if they don’t fit with the needs of your family or your well-being. Mama, your time is valuable! We get excited when we don’t have any plans on the weekends. We do our best to maintain that. It’s not that making plans is bad…you want to live life, and see your friends and family…but it can be nice to let the weekend flow naturally, rather than rushing and feeling tired by Monday.
6. Micro-Moments matter
Do not underestimate the power of micro-moments. You can reset your mind with five minutes of deep breathing or a stroll around the neighbourhood. My husband enjoys volunteering for grocery runs because to me they are a chore, but to him, they are a break… so he takes advantage of those moments when he can to gather his thoughts!
7. Evening Relax
After your kids are in bed, create a ritual that you can enjoy. You could do a skincare ritual, journal, or have a creative hobby. It not only signals the end of your “mom duties” for the day, but it also creates a calmer atmosphere for your evening. We try to get everything done and shut down by 7:30 pm so that we can spend an hour getting ready for bed. Then we will work from 810 pm. We then turn off the lights to ensure we get enough rest. When you are exhausted, having a routine at night is incredibly helpful.
8. Tech to Rescue
Use technology to squeeze in some “me time”. Apps with short meditations, yoga sessions, or audiobooks are great for adding some personal enrichment to the day. YouTube is where I get all of my morning meditations. The “Great Meditation” channel has hundreds of videos that cover so many different types of meditation. The sleep and morning meditations were the ones I used most. I also love listening to audiobooks or podcasts about true crimes. You can easily pop in your earbuds when you’re watching your kids outside or taking a stroll.
9. Celebrate Small Victories
Finally, acknowledge and celebrate your “me time” victories. Whether you do a shoutout on social media or dance around in the living room to make them feel more real and rewarding, recognising these wins makes them seem more tangible.
Remember that managing “me-time” doesn’t mean finding more time in the day. (We wish!) It’s about making the most of every moment and putting yourself first. A happy and fulfilled mother makes a more harmonious home. Reclaim your “me-time” with grace and gusto!
What are your favourite self-care tips? What are your favourite self-care tips? Share your ideas with us!
Time Stealing for Yourself
I asked 80 people at the Wealth Building Conference last year: “How many of you rise before 6 a.m.?” Twenty-six people raised their hands, which was more than I expected. “And how many more are there before seven?” Another 36.
It shouldn’t have been a surprise to me that two-thirds of my group were early risers. Successful people are early risers, according to studies. More than one study shows that the early rise of executives is directly related to how high they climb up the corporate ladder.
The single most important thing that you can do is to get up early and make the best use of the extra time. Early morning productivity is worth at least two hours in the afternoon or evening.
I have often recommended that you start your day off by setting your clock an hour earlier. There is still more you can do. Adopting six of the following practices will allow you to squeeze 90 minutes extra out of your day.
Take Control of Your E-Mail.
On an average day, I get about 100 e-mails related to my work, with some containing large documents (110 to 40 pages. It used to take about four hours for me to do this. Today, I rarely spend more than 90 minutes on it.
How do I do it
- I only read and respond to e-mails twice a day.
- I don’t read my e-mails until I have completed at least one item on my to-do list.
- I resist getting involved in e-mail conversations/arguments between subordinates and colleagues. Most of the time, issues are resolved with or without my involvement.
- I don’t send emails that contain criticism, complaints, or condemnations. I prefer to handle difficult conversations personally, or at worst, on the telephone.
- I keep my emails as short as possible. Never more than one screen page.
Take Control of Your Phone Conversations
Phone conversations, like e-mails, can be emotionally and financially draining. Phone work is a part of business, but should be handled with the same caution as e-mail. Here are some ways I limit my daily phone time to 30 minutes or less:
- Except for emergency calls, I only do my phone work one day a week. This is done by letting callers know (either via voicemail or my assistant) when I will return their calls. And I keep to it. By grouping my calls,
