What We Wish We Could Tell All New Mothers
Being a mother is a life-changing experience. It is exciting, overwhelming, and exhausting all at the same time. For all the joy a newborn brings, it’s also a steep learning process with challenges that can feel insurmountable.
New mums have a lot to juggle: taking care of a small, fragile person; managing sleep deprivation and their healing bodies; adapting to new family dynamics; as well as figuring out how this brand-new schedule will work. Being a new mother is like an extreme sport. You need stamina and grit to get through it.
If you are a new mother reading this article (or know one), here are seven things that we wish all new mothers knew to make their journey easier, more enjoyable, and kinder.
1. Do Not Worry About Being a “Perfect Parent” It’s a Trap
Social media is full of pictures of picture-perfect children, clean and tidy nurseries, as well as mums who appear to have just stepped out of a magazine.
Instagram and Facebook give the impression that other mums are in control. Their babies are dressed in designer onesies, their homes look immaculate, and they manage to do ballet or baby yoga while looking flawless.
Most of the perfect pictures are nothing but smoke and mirrors. The mums behind them are regular moms, doing their best, often struggling, exhausted, or downright messy.
You don’t have to be perfect. You will feel stressed out if you try to be perfect. This will make it harder to enjoy the early years of your child. Focus on being a decent mother. It means that you should show your love and care for your child, even when things are tough.
Remember to let go of comparisons. Your baby does not care if you have crumbs on your floor or a messy hairstyle. They just want your love, attention, and presence, not perfection.
2. Even if You Don’t Feel Like It, Get Out of the House
It can be difficult to leave the house when you are a new mother. Heading outside can seem impossible with all the baby gear and feeding schedules.
Even a quick walk around the neighborhood is beneficial.
It helps you clear your mind and takes you away from the sometimes claustrophobic atmosphere of a home with a new baby. Sunshine and fresh air are great for your mental health.
Second, some babies will sleep better if you are moving. The gentle stroll will often calm them down and help them to fall asleep. This gives you the chance to relax, recharge, or even sip a cup of quiet coffee.
Plus, getting out of the house will make you feel more like yourself, beyond the constant job of changing and feeding nappies. Even if you only go to the store for chocolate biscuits, it is worth celebrating.
3. Remember that Mums are Important Too
It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of a new child. Family, friends, and medical professionals will all focus on your baby. While your baby’s happiness and health are important, you also need to be concerned about your well-being.
You can’t care for your child if you are struggling physically or emotionally. Supporting new mothers is important.
Speak up if you’re feeling overwhelmed, asw, or anxious. Ask your partner, friends, or family how they can help you. They may be able to do chores for you, bring you food, or simply listen.
If you are having difficulties, don’t be afraid to contact your GP or maternal child health nurse. You can rely on them to help you maintain your physical and mental health, because healthy mums have healthy babies.
It’s okay for you to ask for assistance. You don’t need to “think h out” the situation alone. It’s ok to ask for help when you need it. Motherhood can be a difficult job.
4. Buy Only What You Need
New mothers often feel the pressure to buy everything. The list of “must-have” items is endless between online baby shops, social media recommendations, and well-meaning friends.
You only need the basics.
The essentials are a place to put your baby down, a car seat that is reliable, some comfortable clothes, some nappies and wipes, as well as a pram/carrier that fits your lifestyle.
Don’t buy everything you see. Many “must-have” items are not used or are unnecessary.
Don’t compare your pram or nursery decor to those of parents who have expensive ones. It’s important to choose what is best for your family, not what you see on Instagram.
Purchase slowly and deliberately. As you find out you need more, add items to your cart. You will save money, space, and stress.
5. Ignore Unsolicited Advice (Yes, really).
Everyone becomes an expert when they have a child. Strangers may share their tips without asking, while strangers and people you barely know could offer advice on the sleeping position of your baby.
The avalanche can be overwhelming and even hurtful.
What is the best way to deal with it? Thank people politely and then trust your instincts.
Surround yourself with people you trust: your partner or GP, the maternal and child health specialist, or friends who understand your parenting style.
Ask trusted sources instead of random ones when in doubt. What works for one family may not work for another.
You know your baby the best.
6. Feeding is Flexible
Early motherhood can be stressful, especially when it comes to feeding. Breastfeeding is a big deal, and the phrase “breast’s best” is everywhere. Breastfeeding has many benefits, but it is not always feasible or right for all families.
Your baby will thrive and be loved no matter what you feed them.
Formula feeding can be a healthy and viable option. You can also choose to mix feed, use donor milk, or pump.
Priority should be given to feeding your child in a manner that is both healthy for you and your family.
You are a mother, and feeding your child is only one part of that journey. Do not let guilt or pressure steal your joy.
7. Celebrate Small Victories
Motherhood is made up of many tiny and messy moments. The biggest victories of the day can be:
- How to get your baby to sleep for an uninterrupted hour
- Avoiding getting vomited on (again!)
- Five minutes for a chocolate or tea biscuit
- How to get through a difficult night (or with fewer tears)
- Put your baby gently in their crib without waking him/her
Celebrate your small victories. These small victories are real proof of progress, despite what may seem like an endless list of challenges.
It’s not about being perfect as a new mother. It’s more about loving your child with everything you have. Every little victory is worth celebrating.
Conclusion
The life of a mother is transformed in ways that you could never have imagined. This is a journey that’s filled with joy, exhaustion, and uncertainty. But it’s also a journey of immense love. Remember that you’re not the only one going through this, and that there is no perfect parent. Trusting your instincts is as important as taking care of your baby. Each small win counts and helps you grow as a parent. Above all else, remember to be kind to yourself. You’re doing a great job.
