Ah coffee, the black liquid saviour of sleep-deprived parents everywhere. But what happens when you can’t drink it, or (GASP!) can’t stand it?! Welcome to my world. Here are seven ways to survive WITHOUT coffee when you’re not getting ANY sleep.
1. B is for bounce
First up, get some vitamin B tablets or a Berocca in you immediately. A Berocca Boost has the same amount of caffeine as a cup of coffee plus a bunch of other vitamins and stuff to help kick start the day, so it’s worth getting on board the B train early. Sure, it’s not going to still be working by the evening but it might help you feel spry enough to, I dunno, have a shower. Caffeine tablets are another option, but I’ve never felt right about taking them myself. Way too easy to take too many I reckon.
2. Smoothie operator
Get a blender or Nutri-bullet and get blitzing. Smoothies are another great option for the start of the day or an afternoon pick-me-up. Just stick some good energy-inducing stuff in there like bananas and spinach, plus a bit of sweetness like pineapple if you’re not keen on a really ‘healthy’ flavour (sometimes it’s all too ‘real’ tasting when there’s a tiny human screaming in your face). And if you literally don’t have the energy to make it, get someone to go and buy you one.
3. Be a happy little Vegemite
Another piece of black gold, but one you can eat! Put those honey clusters down and get some wholegrain toast with Vegemite on your plate instead. Some foods and drinks are going to make you feel even more tired (trust me, it’s possible), so you need to choose wisely when it comes to what goes in your mouth. Vegemite is packed with B vitamins too so it’s going to give you a bit of a boost, and the wholegrain bread will fill you up which is a good thing because you might not get around to having lunch today.
4. Be a tea bag lady
My personal favourite – tea. Not as heavily caffeinated as coffee of course, but enough of a kick and a hot drink comfort to fool your brain into thinking you’re a functioning member of society again. I love all types of tea and usually start with a green, then move into black teas and chai later on in the day, plus a chamomile at night. There’s something soothing about a tea too, it’s like an invisible warm hug when you’re feeling at your absolute worst.
5. Get fizzy with it
Good old Coca-Cola, the black doctor. It’s helped me many a time in my hour of need. Energy drinks are another good option if you’re feeling desperate, but the only downfall of both of these options is sugar. On top of everything else, who wants to also have to worry about their teeth falling out when they already look like a homeless zombie? Plus after the initial sugar buzz high (in which time you may have managed to hang out some laundry or nip to the shops), there will be a sugar crash. So be prepared to hit that sleepy low again.
6. Chocolate to the rescue!
Another personal favourite for when you are JUST NOT COPING. Put the kettle on and rip into a block of tasty dark chocolate. It’s full of caffeine and some kind of antioxidants and stuff (cacao’s a superfood apparently), so don’t even feel guilty when you’ve scoffed the whole thing before you’ve made your tea.
7. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em
True story – I know several mums who only started drinking coffee when they became mothers. I guess when the going gets tough, the tough gets coffee. I’ve always been so jealous of coffee-drinking mums and often considered it myself (desperate times you know). Every now and then I even take a few sips of other people’s flat whites just to get the feel … but alas no. Still dirt to me!