6 Funny (and kind of gross) Ways Kids Show Us Their Love
Ah, motherhood. It’s sticky. It’s loud. It’s loud.
Through all the noise, chaos, and bodily liquids, there is a thread that’s pure and unfiltered love. The kind of love toddlers and preschoolers freely give, even if it’s in unconventional ways.
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Children have their language of affection. While adults may express affection through words, hugs, or small acts of kindness, young children speak a different language. Sometimes that language involves gift-wrapped boogers, projectile vomit, or surprise elbow drops.
Six hilarious and disgusting ways our children show us how much they love us.
1. You say “I love” 1,000 Times Per Day… With Sticky Fingers
Let’s begin with the classic. Some moments are truly heart-warming. When your child says “I love Mummy” with peanut butter on their cheeks and wide-eyed, you know you’re in the right place.
You feel your chest grow three sizes the first time you hear these words. It’s even better than wine or chocolate. It’s better than chocolate, wine, and a full night’s sleep.
You’ll hear it from them when you least expect – in the middle of a tantrum or line at the Post Office, as they hand you a raisin that was squashed under the couch.
Even if they have sticky hands and their breath smells of cheese sticks, they still mean it. For them, love is as simple as being there, caring, and knowing where the snacks are.
2. Vomiting You
You’ve experienced it. You can see that your child is suddenly pale and glassy-eyed. Your child curls up in your lap with a clammy forehead pressing against your chest. Then it happens – the heave and the flood. It’s the most horrifying thing to see your child vomit on you.
You can move the bowls. You would shoot for the bowl. No, to them, your body is the warmest and most comfortable target on Earth.
You’d prefer that their Vegemite Sandwich make a second appearance somewhere else. When they decide to explode all over your shirt, instead of the towel that you had frantically placed near it, it is not just bad aim – it is love.
You are their safe place to land when they’re feeling the worst. You are their haven. They are their person. Their person.
3. They Expect You to Do Everything for Them, Even When Dad is There
In theory, parenting is a 50/50 task. But then your toddler enters their “only-mummy-can-do-this” phase, and suddenly you’re the sole provider of every snack, wipe, shoe-tie, buckle-click, and bedtime story.
Your partner could stand right here, fully capable with arms wide open, and your child would still scream, “N, O!” Mummy, do it!”
You try to explain. You try to reason. This strange little dictatorship is love disguised. Your child is telling you, “You are the person I trust the most in the whole world.” “You are my emotional home.”
Yes, it’s frustrating. Yes, it’s exhausting. Remember, this phase will not last forever. You’ll be both happy and sad when one day they start yelling for their dad again.
4. Treating Your Body Like a Trampoline
Let go of personal space. You’ve probably experienced “affectionate attack” if you’ve ever felt a 15kg bundle slam into your ribs while curled up on a couch.
Love isn’t always gentle to a child. It can look like you’re climbing up on your back as you do downward dog. It can be as simple as headbutting with love. Or use your belly as a percussion set.
It’s not that they want to hurt you, but rather, they are full of emotions and need to be close to you. They are a physical couple who love to touch and have a little chaos.
You may get a bruise, be winded or startle, but in return you will get squeals of joy, belly laughs hs and cuddles all over your body.
Tip: If your child is particularly energetic, you might want to consider body armor… or a massage therapist.
5. Thank You for the Boogers
Talk about boogers, the currency of child generosity.
Every parent will have a moment when they are proudly presented with a green nugget of nasal gold. It’s gross. It’s alarming. It’s alarming.
Your child may have wiped the smudge on the couch. It could have been flung across the room. It’s been eaten (don’t try to pretend that they haven’t). Instead, they gave it to you. It was as if they were saying, “Here, Mummy.” This is what I made. “I want it for you.”
You’re their person. You take care of my bodily functions. “You deserve the best from me, and that includes this lovingly rolled goobie.”
Accept the boogers with grace and humor? Or do you recoil with horror? They’re doing it with love, either way. You could say “thank you” and grab some tissues.
6. Sleeping On You
A sleeping child is magical. Sleeping children are a wonder to watch. Their chests rise and fall, their tiny twitches or the total surrender. When that sleep happens on it is a special love.
You might feel your arm go numb. You may need to urinate. You may be thirsty, hungry, and desperate to get up, but you won’t. You’d do whatever it takes to make them feel safe, because their body is curled on your chest and their breath is warm on your neck.
You realize that this child considers you their home. Not only do they fall asleep on your lap because they are tired, but also because they feel at ease when you are close.
As they grow older, the sleep cuddling will become nighttime intrusions. You will wake up to a child pressing against your chest, an elbow on your b,ac k and a foot in front of your face. They still crawl into your bed because they love to.
Even if you are repeatedly kicked in the groin as you sleep.
Bonus: Love Other Weird Places
Children don’t only show affection through cuddles and bodily functions. Every day, they find new and beautiful ways to tell you “I love”:
- Draw a portrait of yourself that looks more like a potato with legs.
- Make “soup”, using dirt, grass, and LEGO heads.
- “I love you!” shouted from the top of a playground.
- You put a stone in your pocket, “for you, Mummy.”
- Even if you rhyme “Mummy”, “tummy”, and “yummy,” it’s still worth making up songs to show how awesome you are.
In its purest form, love is not about fancy gestures or roses. It’s all about attention, presence, and touch.
Conclusion
Parenting means accepting love that you would never have expected. It’s messy, loud, and sometimes gross. It’s also profound. When your child gives you a booger or throws up on your t-shirt, or insists that only YOU can fasten their shoes, they are saying:
I trust you.
I need you.
I feel safe around you.
Most importantly, I love you, Mum.
Next time you are covered in bodily liquids or being used as a climbing framework, take a breath. You are not only surviving, you are being loved deeply and unconditionally in the strangest, most wonderful ways possible.
