How to Make Mornings with Kids Less Stressful (and more fun!)
Mornings can be chaotic for anyone who has ever had to prepare a small child to leave on time. Sounds familiar? Shoes missing, teeth not brushed, tantrums and tears, frantic searches for backpacks and permission slips. You’re not alone if mornings feel like a battleground with your kids. Here’s the good thing: mornings with kids can be less stressful and even enjoyable if you use some simple strategies.
Justin Coulson is a parenting expert and father of six daughters who has perfected the art of a peaceful morning with a large family. His advice is both practical and insightful. It’s also doable.
The Power of the Night Before
Justin’s greatest insight is something that we often overlook when trying to manage the morning chaos:
This simple perspective change can have a profound impact on your mornings. We find that the morning becomes much more difficult when we realize we’re not prepared. Time constraints, deadlines, and little people who may be grumpy or distracted can all make the day more difficult. This is a recipe for anxiety.
You can create a buffer by spending some time the night before preparing. You create a buffer to allow yourself time to adapt and breathe when things don’t work out as planned. Justin explains it this way:
- Get the clothes ready: Have you laid out and ironed your children’s outfits? Shoes and socks are matched and available at the door. Has the sports uniform been packed? Are library books and musical equipment set aside? Sorting ahead will save you time in the morning.
- Prepared meals: Does the fridge have the ingredients for breakfast and lunch that you require? Even if you do not prepare your meals in full the night before, it makes a big difference to have everything available, from bread to fruits to sandwich fillings. Justin and his wife discuss the morning’s breakfast the night before, so that the children know what to expect.
- Checklist: A mental or physical list of all that needs to be done can help parents and children stay organized.
It’s not about rigidity or perfection, but creating a smoother beginning and setting everyone up to succeed.
Breakfast and Lunch — Set Yourself Up to Win
Justin stresses that food is a key factor in the morning’s success.
He explains, “We check our fridge and pantry to make sure the food we need for lunch or breakfast is prepared.” It’s not about having every meal ready, but rather ensuring that you can prepare your meals quickly without any stress in the morning.
You may want to consider evening planning if you find yourself making frequent trips to the grocery store or skipping breakfast because of a lack of time or ingredients. Even putting items in places where children can easily reach them — like cereal boxes, fruit dishes, or yogurt cups — will help them feel more responsible for their morning fuel.
One more gem from Justin: ask your children what they would like for breakfast. You won’t be assuming or guessing, and the kids will feel included and heard. Then, you can set out all the ingredients and components for them to serve themselves when they awake.
Teaching Self-Sufficiency – The Morning Game-Changer
Justin’s family has a strong tradition of teaching children to be independent, starting at a young age.
He says, “We spent a great deal of time teaching our children to be independent.” His five-year-old can scramble an egg and make toast without much help. And his eight-year-old can assemble a salad.
It takes some patience and upfront work, especially if your children are used to you doing everything. The payoff, however, is huge: kids learn valuable life lessons, and mornings are less stressful when they can confidently complete their tasks.
Justin suggests waking children 15 to 20 minutes earlier, on some days, to introduce them to these skills. This is not a rushed lesson, but a calm and deliberate way to teach children how to do something step-by-step – from heating cereal to frying eggs. This is a great way to help them gain confidence and independence.
Enjoy a Gentle Start to Your Day
Justin’s gentle morning routine may resonate with you if your main struggle in the morning is getting your children out of bed.
He says, “We go into their rooms ten minutes before the time they have to rise.” It’s not about waking them up with loud commands or abrupt commands, but rather to help them ease into the day by showing them kindness – a gentle massage, a soft hug, a quiet tune.
This loving, slow approach creates a calm atmosphere and allows kids to transition from sleeping to being awake without feeling rushed. This is also a time of connection during a busy morning.
The family system is running smoothly, thanks to self-sufficiency and preparation. So the kids wake up earlier than necessary. This extra margin allows them to get dressed, eat breakfast, and start the day calmly.
Using Checklists to Help Children Know What To Do Next
Clarifying expectations with children is one of the best ways to reduce stress in the morning. Justin suggests an alternative to constantly telling kids what they should do (which may feel nagging or controlling).
He says, “We never tell the kids what to do.” He asks instead, “What haven’t you done?” You may need help with something. “What’s next on your list?”
The checklist includes everything his kids need to do in the morning, from putting on their shoes to packing their bags. It helps them to stay on track and reduces the need for parents to remind or ask repeatedly.
It is important to establish a morning routine that encourages kids to be responsible and allows them to manage their own time. Parents can act as guides, but not directors.
The Mental Shift – Mornings are a Launchpad and not a Struggle
Behind all of these tips lies a powerful shift in mindset. Justin encourages parents to reframe the mornings as an opportunity to prepare everyone for a great day.
It all changes when you stop viewing mornings as battlegrounds and start seeing them as an opportunity to connect, prepare, and empower. It’s less about “getting to the door” and much more about cultivating independence and calm.
Even if your mornings aren’t perfect (which they rarely are), you will have a system that allows you to recover quickly and keeps everyone feeling supported.
Today, Try these Practical Takeaways
Here are some concrete steps you can take to make your mornings more enjoyable and less stressful.
- Arrange your clothes and shoes for the next day. Don’t forget to include all sports uniforms and accessories.
- Pack lunches and lunch boxes ahead of time.
- Discuss breakfast options with your children. Prepare ingredients on the counter.
- Make a morning checklist for your child. Personalize it to suit their age and needs.
- Teach new self-sufficiency skills each week. Prepare a lesson that is calm and early in the morning, such as making toast or packing sandwiches.
- Use gentle wake-ups. Wake your child up 10 minutes earlier with hugs and a soft tune.
- Instead of giving commands, ask your child to think about the next steps.
Conclusion
Mornings don’t need to be chaotic or stressful. Your family can enjoy peaceful mornings with a little preparation, teaching, and a calm, connected mindset.
Justin Coulson proves with his approach that it is possible to create an enjoyable morning routine with six small children. Start small, celebrate your progress, and be patient.
Your morning begins the night before.
If you like, I could also create a checklist or morning prep planner for you based on your ideas! Would you find that useful?
