A Guide for Experts on How to Keep Your Children Calm during the Pandemic
When the world feels uncertain and the future unclear, it’s natural for anxiety to ripple through a household–especially when you’re a parent trying to maintain a sense of calm for your children. The COVID-19 epidemic threw everyone into a new, often chaotic, rhythm of life. Routines were disrupted and social interactions reduced, while questions outnumbered the answers. This period was particularly difficult for children who depend on adults to regulate their emotions and provide predictability.
The good news is that, even though we cannot always control what happens in the outside world, we are able to influence the way our children perceive it, especially when we have the right tools and knowledge.
Karen Young, child development expert and founder of Hey Sigmund, as well as author of Hey Warrior, gave us some needed insight. Karen Young’s reassuring style and deep understanding of how children deal with anxiety provide invaluable advice for families to navigate through difficult times.
1. Recognize that Anxiety is Normal for Everyone
Recognise and normalise your feelings, not only for your children but also for yourself.
Karen says, “It is normal to be anxious or frustrated.” Some people may not feel anything at any time. “And that’s fine, too.”
Karen suggests that rather than suppressing or ignoring uncomfortable emotions, we should embrace them with curiosity and empathy. This means that parents must give themselves permission to be overwhelmed and teach their children that all emotions are valid.
Adults often think they have to put on a brave front for their kids. Karen says that while it’s important to show calm, pretending everything is fine all the time may be counterproductive. Children have a keen sense of intuition. They can tell when something is wrong even if it’s not said out loud. It is important to be authentic and reassure children, but also remain true to yourself. This creates a safe environment.
2. Create a “Safe Space” in a Chaotic World
In uncertain times, your home can be a place of calm, routine, and love. Karen encourages her family to “come home to each other and our families. To stillness, play, sleeping, whatever makes sense to us and those we love.”
Small rituals can help a child feel secure when the world outside is unreliable. Simple, constant moments can be found in reading together after dinner or having a chat before bed. Weekend pancake breakfasts are also good examples. These routines can help restore order and safety. These may seem insignificant, but they are important signals to children that there is still structure and that people who are trusted are available.
You can also designate a “calm area” in your house. It could be a corner with books and cushions, soft lighting, or sensory toys where your child can self-soothe. Ask your older child what they would like to see in their own space. This will help them feel more in charge.
3. Honesty with Strength
In times of crisis, parents should provide age-appropriate, truthful information and reassurance.
Karen says, “It is okay to show our children that we are anxious. But we must do it with strength.”
You could say: “Yes, some of it is scary, and that’s fine. There are many people who work hard to ensure everyone’s safety. We’re also doing all we can to keep everyone safe.
You’re teaching them an important life skill by balancing truthfulness with confidence: emotional regulation. They learn to face fear with courage and practical actions.
4. Discover What They Know and Gently Fill in the Gaps
COVID-19 may be familiar to many children, particularly those in school, through their friends, the television,n or conversations they overheard. What they have heard may not be true, or it could have confused them.
Karen recommends starting the conversation with open-ended questions such as, “What are you aware of the virus?” and “Are you hearing about it in school?”. This will help you determine what your child knows already and allow you to gently correct any incorrect information.
Assure them by stating the facts clearly: “Viruses may make people sick; however, most people recover.” Scientists and doctors are working to help everyone. “We’re all doing our part by staying at home and washing our hands when necessary.”
Keep explanations simple for younger children. Use relatable metaphors, such as “Germs can be compared to invisible glitter. We can’t see it, but we can wash them away with soap.”
5. Prioritise Play, Creativity, and Movement
Play is even more essential during times of stress. Karen says that it is more important than ever to play with your kids.
She says that play is the way children make sense of their world. They don’t have words to express their emotions, so they play them out.
These activities can help children release tension, express emotions, and reconnect with their joy.
The importance of movement in emotional regulation is also important. All of these activities help to regulate the nervous system. Even simple stretching or yoga before bedtime can do wonders.
6. Support Emotional Expression through Reading and Writing
When emotions are high, books can be a powerful ally. Choose stories where children are navigating big challenges or experiencing strong emotions. This helps them feel less alone.
Karen suggests stories such as Hey Warrior to help children understand the way anxiety affects the brain. Books that discuss feelings, fears, and resilience are also helpful in opening up conversations.
Encourage older kids to keep a diary. You can have them write or draw about what they are feeling. They can even make up stories. It not only helps children process their emotions, but it also gives them a way to record this moment and make sense of life.
7. Help Kids Feel Helpful
Action is one of the best ways to combat anxiety. Children’s confidence is boosted when they feel that they are contributing.
Allow them to help with household chores like watering plants, setting the table, baking muffins, or folding the laundry. Explain that this is how we care for our family.
You can also discuss kindness outside the home with older children. Write letters to grandparents who live alone, draw pictures for your neighbors, or donate toys and books when it is safe. The antidote for fear is to help others.
8. Monitor Media Exposure
Even background news can overwhelm children. Keep adult conversations to yourself and be aware of the amount of pandemic chatter in your house.
Children can interpret the news more negatively than adults. Talk to your child about anything upsetting they have seen and correct any fears that may be exaggerated. This is a great opportunity to remind your family of the safety measures you have taken.
9. Reframe “boring” as “safe”
Children who have a busy schedule and are used to playdates and activities may feel frustrated and bored. Reframing boredom can be more helpful than fighting it.
Speak like “It is a bit boring because we are doing so well staying safe.” That’s okay. Being safe sometimes means doing less.”
Create creative ways to relieve boredom, such as building an obstacle course indoors, learning origami, or hosting a themed dinner. Allow unstructured playtime. When left alone, boredom can lead to some of the most creative play.
10. Take Care of Yourself
All of the strategies above will work unless parents can regulate themselves. Self-care does not mean that you must be Zen or perfect 24/7.
Karen replies, “We return to what is sensible for both of us.” This could be taking a bath, talking to a friend, meditating, or just stepping out for a few breaths.
Find your anchor – the small practices that will ground you. Children internalise healthy stress management strategies when they see their parents doing so.
Conclusion
Many families are experiencing some of their most challenging times together. There’s a hidden benefit: we can help our children develop emotional resilience. They may not remember specifics about a virus or if they were in lockdown. But they will still remember how they felt: safe, supported, seen.
We can help our children grow by addressing anxiety with compassion, honesty, and playfulness. Karen Young reminds all of us that “whatever the next few weeks look like, we will get through it.” Together.”
