Breastfeeding Struggles for New Mom

Breastfeeding is often described as the most natural thing in the world, but for many new mums, it doesn’t always feel that way. In fact, for something that’s biologically built into us, breastfeeding can be surprisingly challenging, emotionally draining, and even painful in the early days.

If you’re struggling with breastfeeding, you’re not alone. Whether it’s latching issues, low milk supply, or constant self-doubt, almost every mum faces hurdles at some point on their breastfeeding journey.

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This post dives into the most common breastfeeding struggles for new mums, why they happen, and what you can do to manage them, with a healthy dose of real talk and reassurance.

1. Painful Latch and Sore Nipples

One of the first things many new mums notice is how much breastfeeding can hurt, especially in the beginning.

Why does it happen?

• Baby’s latch may be too shallow
• Nipples aren’t used to the friction yet
• The baby may have a tongue-tie or lip-tie
• Feeding positions might be misaligned

What it feels like:

• Sharp pain during latch-on
• Cracked, bleeding, or blistered nipples
• Burning pain between feeds

What helps:

• Working with a lactation consultant to correct the baby’s latch
• Trying different feeding positions (like laid-back or football hold)
• Using nipple shields or hydrogel pads temporarily
• Applying breast milk to nipples to aid healing

Reminder: Some discomfort in the first few days is normal. Ongoing pain is not. If it hurts every time, seek help early—it can make all the difference.

2. Low Milk Supply (or Thinking You Have It)

One of the most common fears among breastfeeding mums is that they’re not making enough milk.

Why it happens (or feels like it is happening):

• Baby is feeding frequently (cluster feeding)
• Breasts feel “soft” instead of full
• You’re not seeing much milk when pumping
• The baby isn’t gaining weight as expected

What you should know:

• Frequent feeding is normal and doesn’t mean low supply
• Pump output does not reflect your actual supply
• Most mums produce enough with regular feeding and a proper latch

What helps:

• Nursing more often to stimulate supply (supply = demand)
• Ensuring the baby empties one breast before switching
• Staying hydrated and nourished
• Seeking support from a lactation consultant or a maternal health nurse

Tip: True low supply is uncommon but can happen. Conditions like thyroid issues, PCOS, or retained placenta may contribute and need medical support.

3. Engorgement and Oversupply

On the flip side, some mums experience the opposite: too much milk, leading to painful engorgement.

What it feels like:

• Breasts are rock hard, hot, or shiny
• Milk sprays out in forceful let-downs
• Baby struggles to latch or gags while feeding
• Pain or discomfort between feeds

What helps:

• Feeding more frequently to reduce buildup
• Hand-expressing or pumping a little before feeds to soften the breast
• Nursing in laid-back positions to slow the flow
• Applying cold compresses between feeds

Watch out: If engorgement isn’t managed, it can lead to blocked ducts or mastitis.

4. Mastitis and Blocked Ducts

If a blocked duct isn’t cleared, it can become inflamed or infected, leading to mastitis, a common condition that affects up to 1 in 10 breastfeeding mums.

Symptoms of a blocked duct:

• A hard lump in the breast
• Localized pain
• Redness or swelling

Signs of mastitis:

• Flu-like symptoms (fever, chills, fatigue)
• Red, hot area on the breast
• General feeling of unwellness

What helps:

• Frequent feeding or pumping to keep milk moving
• Warm compresses and gentle massage
• Rest, fluids, and anti-inflammatory medication
• Antibiotics if the infection doesn’t clear in 24–48 hours

Tip: Mastitis can hit fast. Don’t ignore it—get support early.

5. Feeling Touched Out or Emotionally Drained

Breastfeeding isn’t just physical—it can be emotionally exhausting. Many new mums feel overwhelmed by the constant physical contact, especially during growth spurts or cluster feeds.

What it feels like:

• Feeling overstimulated or irritable when the baby latches
• Resisting the constant demand on your body
• Guilt for not feeling bonded during feeds

What helps:

• Setting boundaries with others to give yourself space
• Taking breaks and asking for help with non-feeding tasks
• Talking to a partner or therapist about how you’re feeling
• Remembering that it’s normal and okay to feel touched out

You’re not a bad mum if breastfeeding feels emotionally hard. It’s intense work, and your feelings are valid.

6. Breastfeeding in Public (and Social Pressure)

Even though breastfeeding is natural, many new mums feel awkward, anxious, or judged when doing it outside their homes.

Common worries:

• Someone will make a rude comment
• The baby will cry or struggle with latching
• Feeling exposed or self-conscious

What helps:

• Practising at home in front of a mirror
• Wearing nursing-friendly clothes or covers
• Finding breastfeeding-friendly spaces (many shops and cafés offer them now)
• Remembering you have the right to feed your baby wherever you are

Confidence grows with time. The first few times may feel tough, but it gets easier.

7. Pressure to Breastfeed Exclusively

From hospital posters to well-meaning advice from others, new mums often feel intense pressure to breastfeed exclusively, even when it’s causing distress.

What this pressure can look like:

• Feeling guilty about supplementing with formula
• Worrying that giving a bottle will ruin breastfeeding
• Feeling like a failure if breastfeeding doesn’t work out

What’s important to remember:

• Fed is best. Nourishing your baby and protecting your mental health is what truly matters.
• Combination feeding can be a healthy, sustainable choice
• Every family’s feeding journey is different

Breastfeeding success doesn’t look the same for everyone. Let go of the all-or-nothing mindset.

8. Sleep Deprivation and Night Feeds

Night feeds are essential for milk supply, but they also mean sleep disruption, which takes a toll on new mums physically and emotionally.

What you might experience:

• Exhaustion from round-the-clock feeding
• Baby wants to nurse for comfort, not just food
• Anxiety or dread when night approaches

Tips for managing:

• Safe co-sleeping (if it works for your family)
• Pumping and having a partner offer a bottle occasionally
• Nap during the day whenever possible
• Lowering other expectations (laundry can wait)

Night feeds won’t last forever. It’s okay to prioritise rest when you can.

9. Returning to Work and Pumping Challenges

Many breastfeeding mums return to work within months of giving birth, and keeping up with milk supply via pumping can be daunting.

Common struggles:

• Finding time and privacy to pump at work
• Decreased supply from stress or schedule changes
• Keeping milk cold and safely stored

What helps:

• Talking to HR about your rights and creating a pumping plan
• Investing in a good, double electric pump
• Sticking to a consistent pumping schedule
• Building a small freezer stash ahead of time

Reminder: Your ability to pump doesn’t define your worth as a mum.

10. Comparing Yourself to Other Mums

Perhaps the hardest breastfeeding struggle is internal: comparing yourself to others.

“She has so much milk.”
“Her baby sleeps through the night.”
“She makes it look so easy.”

The truth:

Every baby, every body, and every feeding journey is different. Some mums struggle in silence. Some use formulas and don’t talk about them. Some had a hard time last week and found their rhythm today.

You are not failing—you’re figuring it out.

Final Thoughts: You Are Doing a Great Job

Breastfeeding is beautiful, but it can also be messy, emotional, painful, confusing, and lonely. That’s the part people don’t always tell you. But it’s real and it doesn’t make you any less of a mum.

Whether you breastfeed for two days, two years, or somewhere in between, what matters most is that your baby is loved, nourished, and safe and that you’re supported along the way.

If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to ask for help. Lactation consultants, midwives, mum groups, and even online communities can offer incredible support.

Most of all, know this: you are not alone, and you are enough.