How One Family Tackled the Ultimate Juggle
Bringing a new baby into the family is a life-changing event for any couple. Add to that the complexity of working demanding shifts–often irregular and long hours–and the challenge grows exponentially. For many parents, balancing the needs of a newborn while maintaining a career can feel like walking a tightrope without a safety net.
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In this blog, we dive deep into the experience of Sarah Hunstead, a paediatric nurse, and her husband, Paul, both nursing unit managers working in the same public hospital. Their story reveals the highs and lows of juggling shift work with parenting a baby, offering insights and lessons for other families navigating similar waters.
The Reality of Shift Work in Parenthood
When Sarah and Paul first found out they were expecting their first child, they felt prepared. Working within a female-friendly public hospital system, they were confident they had all the support and arrangements in place to help them thrive both as professionals and new parents.
“I thought I had it all worked out,” Sarah recalls. “We even arranged to be rostered on opposing shifts so one of us would always be home with the baby.”
This kind of setup sounds perfect on paper. One parent works days while the other works nights, theoretically ensuring someone is always with the child while the other is earning an income. But reality, as Sarah learned quickly, was a different story.
The Illusion of Control
Sarah laughed as she remembered her initial expectations about motherhood:
“I was going to have a baby who slept through the night, a dream pregnancy, and a dream baby. I knew it wouldn’t be completely smooth sailing, but I thought the work part would be easy.”
Unfortunately, expectations and reality collided hard.
“Reality, I think, probably is like dropping a brick on your head. That’s how it felt to me anyway.”
Despite having opposing shifts, the couple faced unanticipated challenges. Their staggered schedules meant handover times were limited and sometimes nonexistent. It was common to have to leave their child unsupervised for short periods or bring them into the hospital because there was no one to cover care during those crucial moments.
“We had to bring our baby into the emergency department and sit in the doctor’s office because there was no one to look after them during shift change,” Sarah shares. “That’s not an ideal situation.”
The Emotional Toll of Opposing Shifts
While the logistical issues were daunting, the emotional impact was perhaps even more significant.
“One thing I hadn’t considered was the emotional toll that working opposite shifts would take on us as a couple and as a family,” Sarah explains. “It was more than just about keeping the income coming in.”
They rarely had any time together. Days would go by where they barely saw each other–sometimes only passing in the hallway or catching 15 minutes at home when one was just waking up and the other was going to sleep. The couple’s connection began to fray under the strain.
“It did take a huge toll on our relationship,” Sarah admits. “We never got any time alone together. I think a lot of couples don’t even consider how important that is if you’re not doing shift work.”
Exhaustion, stress, and different ways of coping with fatigue and anxiety led to tension. Communication sometimes became difficult, and they knew they had to rethink their approach to working shifts and parenting.
Support in the Workplace: A Mixed Blessing
One thing that worked in their favor was their supportive work environment. As paediatric nurses, Sarah and Paul worked in a female-dominated profession that prioritized maternity leave and breastfeeding support. Their hospital even offered extended daycare programs designed for shift workers.
However, the extended daycare had a years-long waiting list, and despite signing up as soon as Sarah was pregnant, there was no guarantee they would secure a spot. This scarcity of childcare options is a major barrier for many shift-working parents.
Kirsty Levin, a careers counsellor and psychologist, highlights this common problem:
“It becomes even more important to rely on your support network–family, friends, babysitters, nannies, and your partner. Planning and having backup childcare options is critical, especially when someone might get sick or plans fall through.”
Even though Sarah had a breastfeeding-friendly employer, the realities of nursing life meant that sometimes the needs of patients took priority.
“If you’re faced with the choice of caring for an emergency trauma patient or pumping milk, the patient wins every time.”
How They Made It Work
Facing mounting exhaustion and strain, Sarah and Paul knew something had to give. They began re-evaluating their working patterns, aiming for a balance that worked better for their family’s needs.
Rethinking Shifts and Priorities
They decided to move away from opposing shifts and instead sought roles with more regular hours. Sarah transitioned into running her own business, CPR Kids, focused on teaching parents and carers how to respond effectively to medical emergencies with children.
Paul also moved into more conventional hours, allowing them to spend more time together as a family.
“Shift work is appealing to some families, and not all shiftwork is the same,” Sarah says. “Some shifts can start late at night and finish early morning, which can work well if only one parent is doing it. But for us, with both doing shift work, it became a problem.”
The Importance of Connection
Psychologist Kirsty Levin stresses the importance of communication for couples with opposing shifts:
“It’s important to schedule time to check in with each other, whether it’s a quick phone call or a dedicated conversation when your rosters allow. It helps maintain your connection and keeps stress levels down.”
For Sarah and Paul, these small moments of connection helped to rebuild their partnership.
What Other Families Can Learn from Sarah and Paul’s Story
Every family’s situation is unique, and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution to the challenges of shift work and parenting. But Sarah and Paul’s experience offers some valuable lessons:
1. Be Prepared for Reality, Not Just Plans
You can plan every detail on paper, but babies–and life–often throw curveballs.
Sarah advises parents not to expect everything to go according to plan:
“Don’t expect to be in the place you planned because life will throw curveballs. Be prepared to roll with it.”
Flexibility and resilience are key.
2. Prioritize Emotional Well-being
The emotional toll of working opposite shifts while caring for children can be heavy.
“Make time for each other. Don’t underestimate how much a lack of couple time can impact your relationship,” Sarah says.
Scheduling time for connection, even if brief, can prevent long-term strain.
3. Leverage Your Support Network
Whether it’s family, friends, babysitters, or daycare centers, don’t try to do it all alone.
Kirsty Levin advises:
“Build a support network and have backup plans for childcare. This helps reduce stress when last-minute issues arise.”
4. Explore Different Work Arrangements
If possible, look for shifts or roles that fit better with your family life. Sometimes, working the same shift or negotiating more flexible hours can ease the pressure.
Sarah’s shift away from full-time shift work toward more regular hours was a game-changer.
Conclusion
Balancing shift work and babies is undoubtedly challenging. For Sarah and Paul, the journey involved trial and error, learning hard lessons, and ultimately reimagining how work and family life could coexist. Their story shines a light on the reality many parents face in essential, demanding professions and reminds us that flexibility, support, and connection are vital ingredients to thriving.
If you’re a parent juggling shift work and the needs of young children, know that you’re not alone. While the days can be exhausting and the nights sleepless, with the right mindset and resources, it’s possible to find a rhythm that works for your family.
If you enjoyed this story and want to hear more about real parents balancing work and family, check out The Mother Shift podcast with Jacinta Tynan. It’s full of candid conversations, expert advice, and stories that inspire.
