The last drop: A mum shares the hardest part of saying goodbye to breastfeeding

Australian mother and fitness blogger, Nadine Muller, took to Instagram to share some tender, grieving thoughts about weaning her 17-month-old son and ending her breastfeeding journey.

A bittersweet farewell

In her post, Nadine included a photo of the very first time she breastfed her son, Madden, with the words “our beautiful 17 month journey of #breastfeeding may finally be coming to a close.”

Nadine, a fitness trainer and nurse, went on to explain that she had recently gone on a 4-day trip, and figured that her last breastfeed may have been the final one. Like many weaning mothers, the significance of such a milestone moved her deeply: “I savoured every moment; I took in every detail, I dropped a couple of happy tears and he honestly looked at me like ‘job well done mummy’.”

While proud of herself and her baby, Nadine admitted the final feed was bittersweet. “My heart is so full whilst at the same time it aches because I may never have this time with him again, it’s beautiful but it’s scary.”

View this post on Instagram

[THE END?] Here is our very 1st breastfeeding photo… I'm not too sure just yet and indeed tonight & the next couple of days will reveal but our beautiful 17 month journey of #breastfeeding may finally be coming to a close. I departed for Melbourne knowing that potentially that overnight feed together last Thursday may very well have been our last. I savoured every moment; I took in every detail, I dropped a couple of happy tears and he honestly looked at me like 'job well done mummy'. Motherhood does like to surprise us sometimes so I continued to express whilst away, just in case ✨ … When I arrived home the joy of being reunited with my growing little boy was indescribable. It was like the 4 nights away was as if somehow 4 weeks had passed because he seemed so grown up! While we embraced, kissed and cuddled he nestled in my chest – as he always does. He said 'boobie' like he normally does but not in the way that he normally requests it… He just smiled & placed his wandering hands down my shirt (as if to check that they were still there haha) and then he went about playing and doing his usual business… Is this the end? I'm not sure…. Am I sad, holy shit yes, I'm dropping tears as I write this. Am I proud & excited for us all the same, goodness am I ever! Maybe we have closed this chapter & we are beginning to embark on the next, I'm not too sure just yet that is for my baby to decide … my heart is so full whilst at the same time it aches because I may never have this time with him again, it's beautiful but it's scary. It sure has made me reflect on the past 17mths, for us it has been the most gratifying experience, one that I could never choose the right words to say. To say that both Madden & I have been infatuated with our BF journey together would be the understatement of the century 💕 … I'm currently by his cot & I've just sssssh'd him back to sleep and did so without the 'boobie'……..OK ITS TIME: Time for this proud Mumma of a growing lil boy to have a proper cry ❤️❤️❤️ . . ______________________________________________________ #breastfeeding #fedisbest #breast #normalisebreastfeeding #wefeedunited #stronglikeamum #mumsofinstagram #moments

A post shared by Nadine Muller (@nadinemuller) on

Weaning, your way

So many weaning mothers can identify with this. It can be really tough saying goodbye to this early, intimate stage of motherhood. Nadine puts it beautifully when she explains that breastfeeding added so much to her (and her son’s) life: “for us it has been the most gratifying experience, one that I could never choose the right words to say. To say that both Madden & I have been infatuated with our BF journey together would be the understatement of the century.”

But the story doesn’t end there. As we all know, weaning can take time, and Nadine has kept her followers updated with the realities of weaning. Just yesterday, Nadine posted again on Instagram, this time with the heading THE END PART II. She explained that Madden had woken in the night, inconsolable, and she had chosen to breastfeed him.

“Just like that, his worries were completely over,” she described. “It was an instant soothe just like it has always been, his racing heart slowed down, his breathing settled, his teeny body relaxed up against mine skin on skin, he was in heaven, & let’s be bloody honest so was I. Talk about an emotional ride, I cried again some more, but this time silent tears of pure elation & joy as I beautifully watched my son be soothed back to sleep by me and my breast.”

View this post on Instagram

[THE END; PART II] If you read my post about our breastfeeding journey coming to an end u will know that I have been 1 very emotional Mumma. I never thought this would affect me the way it has. To be completely honest & to put it into perspective, it's not like I'm some frequent cryer. I surprisingly didn't cry the day Madden was born, I didn't cry during any of his needles, I didn't cry the 4 nights I was away from him, BUT as soon as I thought our BF journey was over I cried like a little baby. It actually crossed my mind if I was pregnant with No. 2 coz the emotions were that epic but alas we aren't 🤣 Anywho back to my story 💁🏽 … The other night during the early hours of the morning the little man awoke & was completely beside himself. He was unable to be soothed, not by a bottle, not by cuddles, not by anything. I brought him into bed with us & we did what felt right – yep, he latched on. Just like that, his worries were completely over, it was an instant soothe just like it has always been, his racing heart slowed down, his breathing settled, his teeny body relaxed up against mine skin on skin, he was in heaven, & let's be bloody honest so was I. Talk about an emotional ride, I cried again some more, but this time silent tears of pure elation & joy as I beautifully watched my son be soothed back to sleep by me and my breast ❤️ … Right now, I'm continuing to give my toddler the choice to wean when he is ready, for it is clear we are both not ready; not just yet anyway. Which brings me to ask (despite us not feeling directly pressured) why r there social pressures to wean anyway? He's 17 months but who says when any1 needs to stop? That choice resides with us & us alone. It has been an emotional past few days, & whilst our journey isn't over right now, the end feels like it may still be near. I'm overjoyed that we get to bond in our fav way that bit longer, each feed I cherish even more coz I never know when it will be our last – for good 💕 … Thanx to all the beautiful women whom have DM'd to offer this Mumma support & whom have shared baby-led weaning stories with me. It means a lot & I'm forever grateful for all of your support 💕

A post shared by Nadine Muller (@nadinemuller) on

The choice to wean

If anything, Nadine’s posts are a reminder that weaning is a deeply personal choice. It’s not always easy, and sometimes it takes time, but ultimately, as she points out, “that choice resides with us & us alone.”

In the meantime, Nadine admits she’s still grappling with her own emotions as the feeds wind down. “It has been an emotional past few days, & whilst our journey isn’t over right now, the end feels like it may still be near. I’m overjoyed that we get to bond in our fav way that bit longer, each feed I cherish even more coz I never know when it will be our last – for good.”

She ended her latest post with a callout to all the women who have shared their baby-led weaning stories and helped her through the past few days. It’s wonderful to see such a strong community of supportive mothers out there.

All the best to Nadine and Madden!

How do you feel about finishing breastfeeding? Share your thoughts, we’d love to hear.

Subscribe to Babyology

Our email newsletters keep you up to date with what’s happening on Babyology.

We also have special newsletter-only offers and competitions that are exclusive to Babyology subscribers.

Sign up below:

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Send this to a friend