Seven Things I Thought I Would Love to Do with My Kids but Don’t
When I imagined being a mother, I saw a scene straight out of a movie: soft sunlight streaming in through the windows, children happily helping me to cook, laughter filling the room, and family memories around the table. I pictured myself as a mother who taught life lessons with patience and grace, and who handled chaos with poise and calm. I imagined myself as a nurturing, creative, and serene Earth Mother.
You probably had similar visions. You imagined the fun, joy, and bonding moments with your children that would define your relationship. You imagined yourself as Mary Poppins, a woman who effortlessly managed it all and inspired admiration in everyone.
How is it going?
The reality is quite different. Motherhood can be a frustrating, tiring, and messy business. Life with children is not always sunny and full of lollipops. You will face many situations that will test your patience.
I’ve listed seven things that, although I thought I would enjoy doing them with my children, I find myself not enjoying them. You might recognize yourself.
1. Cooking Together
In theory, it sounds wonderful and healthy to cook with children. Using Instagram, YouTube, and homesteading blogs, I thought I’d be one of the magical mothers who could turn cooking into an experience that would bring us together. I imagined that my kids Id me would have matching aprons and laugh together as we rolled out dough. We would create healthy, delicious meals and bring us closer together.
Spoiler: Reality check
I do enjoy cooking by myself. I have always enjoyed being in the cooking area, trying out new flavors and recipes. But what about cooking with children? But cooking with kids is a different story. The kids are more interested in licking their beaters than they are in measuring the ingredients. The kids will spill flour all over the floor and fight about who gets to stir. It takes them three times longer to clean the mess than it did to prepare the food.
Also, I am often too tired to cook a complete meal. After a day of juggling childcare and work, I simply don’t have enough energy to get my children involved in a cooking session that feels like a chore.
Let’s face it — the phrase ‘too many chefs spoil the broth’ is there for a good reason. It’s more like that “too many chefs fight over who gets the beaters.” This is not the peaceful kitchen scene I imagined.
2. The Myth of the Perfect Dinner for Family Mealtimes
I used to imagine family meals as sacred moments for connection and education. I pictured us all seated around a table enjoying well-balanced, thoughtfully prepared meals, while engaging in stimulating conversations. I imagined gentle reminders of table manners, delivered with a laugh, a smile, and moments that would help shape their character.
What is the reality? Let’s say that family dinners are like battlegrounds after a long day.
Children are often hungry, impatient, and cranky. Older children are often distracted by their gadgets or fighting over who gets to speak. Little ones suddenly become too tired to stay still or refuse to eat everything they are served. While I cook, deal with the chaos, clean spills, referee fighting, and remember whose homework is due tomorrow, I am also trying to manage my time.
It’s messy. It’s loud. It’s exhausting.
My mum assures me that this phase will pass. Now, I celebrate small victories, like a joke shared, a few bites, or even a genuine moment of eye contact in the chaos. The perfect family meal is not real. But the imperfect ones do exist and are important.
3. They are Doing Their Hair
I don’t think you’re alone in spending a lot of time on Pinterest and Instagram, drooling at pictures of funky ponytails, perfectly styled braids, and updos. I thought I’d be the mom who could create beautiful hairstyles every morning for her daughters.
The reality is much less glamorous than you might think.
Over the last eight years, I’ve probably “done my hair” over 3,000 times – brushing, detangling, and braiding it, or trying to remove a stubborn knot. Only two times did I have everything lined up: my child was cooperative, there was enough time, and the conditioner was still in the bottle. These rare moments were fun.
It’s usually a tug of war in the morning. Hairbrushes are used as weapons. The kids whine, I lose my patience, and it feels like the whole process is a war. It can end in tears, whether mine or theirs.
Here’s the thing. I haven’t lost hope. We’ll all have those Pinterest-worthy days of hair one day. I’m going to embrace the messy, imperfect reality that is my morning hair routine until then.
4. Early Readers: The Battle of Words
As a book-lover who has always loved words, I imagined that those early reading sessions would be treasured by me and my children. I imagined sitting on the couch with my children, sharing stories and turning pages. Their eyes would light up when they learn new words.
When was the last instance that you sat down and read an early reader book? You know those simple, repetitive children’s books.
Here’s an excerpt from one that I found recently on the floor.
Look at the fish. Look at the fish tank. Look at the tank. Look at the Octopus .”
Yes. It is as simple as that.
Early readers can be a challenge. I’ve seen kids take to it enthusiastically and others who resisted. It can be a joy, but also mind-numbingly repetitive and dull.
My life lesson? It should not be taught until the person is already able to read. You can’t if you value your sanity.
5. Sticker Books: The OCD Awakening
Sticker books have become a favorite in my home. I bought them for my daughters, thinking I would enjoy helping them place stickers on the pages to foster their creativity.
Here’s the problem: My love for sticker albums quickly became a mild addiction–and not in an enjoyable way.
My daughters do not always stick their stickers in the exact place that I believe they should be. The stickers might be upside do, or they could place a sun on a butterfly. This is bothering me.
The sudden increase in obsessive-compulsive behavior has been alarming. Some nights, I have quietly sneaked back into their room after they were asleep to rearrange stickers according to my liking. (No judgment, please. (I’m still working through this.
Sticker books are a great way to bring out my perfectionist side. One day,y I hope to be able to relax.
6. Repetitive Torture: Pushing them on Swings
I don’t enjoy monotonous or repetitive activities. Exercise included, I try to avoid repetitive motions.
Imagine my shock when I discovered that pushing children on swings was an endless, repetitious, and energy-draining job.
Not just monotony. Pushing a swing takes both hands. You can’t multitask while scrolling through your phone or reading.
The tiny dictator screaming “Higher!” Higher !” – refusing to accept “five more pushes is enough”
This is one of the most tedious jobs I have ever performed in a public place.
7. Walking around the Neighborhood
My childhood walks with Nanna are fond memories. We would go on little walks around the neighborhood and collect leaves and flowers. We would then turn these treasures into beautiful art pieces at home.
Imagine us walking hand-in-hand through nature, marveling at its wonders, telling stories, and creating art with our discoveries.
Reality: Not so much.
My kids usually complain more when we go for a walk: their legs hurt, they think the hill is steeper than it is, and they ask how far until home.
They also enjoy stomping lizards. This makes me want to take down, cry, and scream.
Although it is not the idyllic scene that I had pictured, we are still on a walk. Sometimes, that is enough.
Conclusion
The reality of motherhood often falls short of what we had imagined. Things we thought would be fun to do with our children can turn out to be a chore or a challenge.
Here’s a beautiful paradox: These imperfect moments are all part of the messy, authentic experience of parenting. Even the struggles, frustrations, laughter, and disappointments are part of the story you and your child create.
You’re not the only one who feels disenchanted by some things that you thought you would enjoy. It’s not about perfection when it comes to motherhood. It’s all about being there, loving fiercely, and showing up.
Here’s to the imperfect, real motherhood journey. It’s your experience and is worth every minute.
