I Look Like an Alpaca
It was once a time, though it may seem like another life, when your hair made a statement. The hair was glossy, sleek, straight, full of bounce, and sometimes even smelled faintly like salon products. You could primp, straighten, blow-dry your hair, curl it, smooth it, or spray it. In casual conversations, you may have used words such as “texturising spritz” or “beachy wave”.
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Then, there was motherhood. And, well… so did mum-hair.
When you held your baby, your priorities changed. Your once-loved hair regimen was sacrificed first. It’s not because you are “too exhausted” (though you may be perpetually tired), but because other things now matter more. Sleep. Diaper changes. Make meals that your child will not eat. Breaking up fights. Coordinating nap times. Finding five minutes for a cup of coffee that’s not ice-cold.
Mum-hair is a real thing, and not one style. There’s an entire spectrum of fashion chaos, practicality, ty and unwillingness to wear the latest trends. It’s an important rite of passage. A silent sisterhood. A badge of motherly honour. Congratulations if you are already nodding. You are also a member of the club.
Here are six sure-fire signs.
1. The Mum-Bun is Now a Daily Staple
Before kids, the bun was the “lazy Sunday” uniform. Now it is your everyday uniform. It’s no longer a choice. It’s as natural as reaching for the baby wipes or finishing off your toddler’s sandwich crust.
Here is the anatomy of a mum-bun classic:
- Step 1: Recognize that your hair is far too oily to be able to be rubbed down.
- Step 2: Get an elastic, any elastic. You can use an old elastic from your handbag.
- Step 3: Flip, twist, yank. The mum-bun is a messy but practical masterpiece.
It’s certainly not glamorous and was not achieved by watching a YouTube video. It works. Keeps your hair away from food-covered and grabby hands. This is great for crawling, bouncing babies, or racing through the supermarket. It’s like the Swiss Army Knife of hairstyles.
In mum circles, what about you? The mum-bun represents solidarity. When you see another mum wearing the same frizzy top bun, give her a nod. We understand. We understand.
2. You Only Wash Your Hair When It Starts to Itch
Let’s talk about hygiene. Hair washing is now a luxury, a rare treat. You still shower (mostly), however. You don’t wash your hair unless there is a special event (like…a marriage). Your scalp has its schedule. What is the trigger for washing your hair? Itchiness.
It’s not because you’re lazy. You simply don’t have the time or energy to go through the whole shampoo-rinse-condition-detangle-dry-style routine. This is not a simple task. It’s an event. It’s a job that takes coordination, childcare, and, sometimes, an extra towel for the kid who bursts in mid-way through.
Dry shampoo is your new best friend. You can’t live without it. It’s your holy grail. You swear by it. Even then, on some days it’s easier to put on a cap and pretend that you want a sporty appearance.
3. On Some Days, You May Look Like an Alpaca
This one is for all the curly-haired moms. Curls require a lot of maintenance. When neglected, curls don’t simply “lose shape”; they become something that resembles a lovable, shaggy farm animal.
The frizz after a nap. The humidity halo. The curls in the front that turn into corkscrews, while the ones at the back become matted by the headrest of the car. Then comes the combination of alpaca vibrations.
You laugh loudly when you look into the mirror. You whisper, “What is this?” Your toddler giggles and points at your hair. You think about chopping off all your hair. You know deep down that it’s part of the process.
Even if you have to wrestle your curls under control with a leave-in conditioner, or try a “wash & go” which turns into “wash & hide under a hat”, you persist. Your hair has character, even if it is currently channeling barnyard chic.
4. Braids Are Your Lifeline
It comes a time when even your mum-bun cannot hide the condition of your hair. The strands of hair are so shiny that they shine in the sunlight. The roots are at new heights, and the ends look scraggly.
The emergency braid is here.
Braiding is your secret weapon. French, Dutch side braids, crown braids, whatever you can do quickly and without a mirror. This will make you appear to have tried. You feel like you are regressing every time you leave your child at daycare, and your hair is neatly plaited down your back. You wonder, “Is that my hair or the five-year-old?
It works. On really bad days, wearing pigtails plaited with oversized sunglasses and matching oversized glasses is acceptable.
5. You’re Rocking a “Mombre” Unintentionally
Ah, the mombre. The mombre, which is not to be confused with the trendy ombre done in a salon, is when your hair hasn’t been touched up for six months, but you still have two-toned locks. The mombre is the result of an unplanned combination of roots and dye. It can also be caused by grown-out highlights or accidental lowlights.
Your hair on top is flat and dark. It may be greying. What about the ends? The faded version of the bold balayage that you had before your baby. Congratulations–you’ve unknowingly embraced a trend!
You’re walking into a playgroup when you hear someone whisper, “Is it ombre?” Instead of explaining that this is just extreme regrowth from neglect or extreme growth, you proudly nod. Yes. Yes.
Mums all over the world have adopted the mombre to make a statement. It is low maintenance and hides months of hair neglect. Plus, you can pretend to be cool and edgy.
6. You Have Survived the “Mumlet.”
The post-baby hair growth is back! The weird forehead fringes that appear around the fourth month postpartum. The tiny baby hairs that refuse to be tamed, and create a fuzzy halo that no product can cover.
The mumlet is what we call it.
It’s a unique look. The front is business (short, fluffy sprouts) and the back is party (whatever your hair length was previously). Make it a mullet, but make it feminine.
Just when you thought it was starting to blend, the regrowth begins to thicken and curl, flip, or stick out at 90-degree angles. Some mums flatten the hair with gel. Some mums wear headbands for months. Some brave souls embrace the headband – because why not? It’s at least a sign that your hair is returning after the hormonal shedding.
Mumlet will pass, just like every phase. We salute your bravery until then.
The Secret Strength of Mum-Hair
Mum-hair isn’t lazy. It’s resilient. It is the visible proof of sacrifice, love, hustle, and compromise. When you put someone else’s wants and needs before yours, but still manage to show up, that’s what happens.
Every strand that flies away, every lock left unwashed, and every frizz halo all tell a story.
- I remember late-night rocking of a colicky child.
- The school drop-offs are squeezed in between packing lunchboxes and dressing someone else.
- You’ve probably done it: forgotten the milk, but not the toy for the baby.
The same woman who used to do her hair as a hobby is still there. She’s still there. She may be tired and multitasking 24 hours a day, but she is stronger, more patient, nd more resourceful than before.
Here’s mum-hair.
Real. It may not be polished, styled, or salon-ready, but it is real. It’s earned. Every single day.
Conclusion
Welcome to the mum-hair sisterhood. Welcome to the mum-hair sisters. We don’t wear matching jackets, nor do we have club meetings. But we smile at each other at the school gates and share dry shampoo recommendations on the playground.
If you want to recapture some of the hairstyles from before your motherhood, why not? It’s your call. Make an appointment at the salon. Try a different cut. Bleach both ends. Or don’t. Mum-hair looks beautiful in any form.
Even the alpacas.
