Kevin Federline recently spoke to US network Bravo about the realities of co-parenting with ex-wife Britney Spears, and his thoughts might strike a chord with other separated or divorced parents.
We need to talk about Kevin
It’s interesting to hear from Kevin, because the focus is so very, very often on Britney (whether she likes it or not!) Hearing his thoughts on parenting and marriage, you get the sense that he’s not only been through a lot, but that he’s really grown up and is striving to juggle all the tricky elements of dad life as effectively as one can.
Kevin revealed that after some challenging times and a highly publicised custody battle, he and Britney have found their parenting groove together, post-divorce. It’s possibly heartening news for anyone having a tricky time with their ex-partner.
“You fall into your routine and it’s really easy now. It wasn’t always easy, but it’s a lot easier now,” the dad-of-six told Bravo.
Britney and Kevin, a former back-up dancer, got married in 2004 after a high profile and super-speedy courtship – they’d known each other for just five months. When they walked down the aisle, Britney was 22 and Kevin was 26, so they were really babies themselves. They went on to quickly have two sons together – Sean, born a year after they met, is now 11 and Jayden is now 10.
This was Britney’s second marriage, as she’d previously wed Jason Alexander for 55 hours – and then had the marriage annulled.
Kevin and Britney divorced in 2007 and Kevin went on to marry former volleyball player Victoria Prince – who he met in 2008. Victoria and Kevin have two kids – 5-year-old Jordan and 3-year-old Peyton. Kevin also has two children with ex-fiance Shar Jackson – 14-year-old Kori and 12-year-old Kaleb. Phew!
Britney has not remarried and has not had any more children.
“It’s worth it”
On his big, complex family, Kevin said it’s hard work, but jam-packed with rewards.
“Having six, it feels like you’re trying to control a basketball team. But it’s worth it. All my kids are great; they get along. By the time you have six, you are so well seasoned. I can probably change a diaper with one hand and feed a kid at the same time,” he told Bravo.
Of course, parenting multiple great kids with multiple great women provides its own challenges – and a tidy lesson in compromise and commitment.
“I’m used to not having all my kids, and this is gonna be one of those years. When you are co-parenting, you have to be willing to give up some of the things you would really like to do,” Kevin explained.
In the end, Kevin said that successful co-parenting comes down to patience and a robust reframing of expectations. He notes that as he’s grown up, priorities have become clearer and sharing his kids has become easier, too.
“A lot of it comes with age. You get older, and you realize what’s really important to you. Definitely having patience and compromising. It has to be something you want. If it’s something you don’t want, it’s not going to work.”
“People expect [co-parenting] to be a fairytale, like a Disney cartoon, but it’s not like that. It’s real life. It takes hard work and dedication,” Kevin said.