We have a super-soft spot for Lizzie McGuire and Younger star, Hilary Duff. Not only does she seem to veer toward the normal realm of celebrity parents, her perfectly imperfect life seems to reflect bits of our own.
The mum-of-one recently spoke to Redbook Magazine about life as a single parent and – despite the fact that she obviously enjoys the spoils of famous-ness – much of what she said made complete sense and can be applied to mum life across the board.
Duff shares custody of her 5-year-old son Luca with her ex-husband, Mike Comrie.
Obviously life as a single parent has required some adjustment, but we’re kind of loving Hilary’s strategies for a less frazzled, more positive life.
Here’s a bunch of ways the star says help her to avoid feeling overwhelmed, staying on the straight and narrow and make every day count.
1. Leaning OUT
Despite the recent “lean in” catch cry of fearlessly relishing every opportunity, Hilary is ignoring FOMO, stepping back and trusting her instincts when it comes to work and life.
“As I get older, I feel more comfortable ‘leaning out,'” she says. “I don’t need to cram every day full, because I can and because I’m capable.”
This is such a great approach in a fast paced world, especially for exhausted mums who feel they must say “yes” to all the things, all the time.
Take a leaf out of Hilary’s book, everybody!
2. Keeping a gratitude journal
Adjusting her mindset and noticing the good in each day is also paying dividends, with Duff admitting she’s addicted to capturing special moments, big and small.
“I’m kind of addicted,” she told Redbook.
“My last one was, ‘I’m grateful for the skip in Luca’s step.'”
This is such excellent advice and it just takes a minute or two to ponder the good and jot it down (or snap a photo reminder, even!)
3. Cherishing what she already has
Hilary spoke relatably about the constant push for MORE and how she tackles the pressure to keep levelling up. She found constant badgering about when baby number two would arrive to be particularly insensitive.
“I’ve gotten over the fact that I’m not going to have a baby that’s close in age with Luca. It sucked when everyone would be like, ‘When are you having another?’ I’d be like, “Do you know what’s happening right now? I’m not having another,” she said.
“You get engaged: ‘When’s the wedding?’ You get married: “When’s the baby?” You have a baby: ‘When’s the next one?'”
Duff said she’s concentrating on appreciating everything she has in her life at present, because who knows what the future will bring..!
“I’m cherishing the now. Besides, watch: I’ll probably get some evil spawn of Hilary the next time around.”
4. Slowing things down
The pressure to be in perpetual motion and ever-optimising her life is something this mum’s working hard to shake off.
She’s hoping to feel less crappy and more in control of what happens when, without letting mum guilt rear its ugly head too often.
“I always feel torn or guilty about something. I’m not working right now, and at first I stressed about that, like, “Oh, I shouldn’t stay still this long.” And that’s ridiculous. I have a child; it’s totally fine to not be slammed all the time. It feels really good to not be on someone else’s schedule — besides Luca’s. I’m basically his chauffeur!”
5. Finding a new normal
Despite struggling to adjust to her split with ex, Mike Comrie, Duff notes that time has taken the sharp edges off the heartache, and she’s found a more positive new normal which works for the family, most of the time.
“Some of my friends tell me, ‘God, it must be so nice, you get a break from your kid because you share him.’ I’m divorced, and it sucks. Well, it did suck for a while; now it’s just normal. But it’s true, I do get a break. I had Luca by myself for a few weeks, no help, when Mike was on the road, and when he got home I was like, ‘He’s yours! Bye!'”
This is terribly good advice for all mums (and dads!)
It’s ace that Hilary’s using her profile to spark chatter about the difficulties and triumphs of parenting and relationships, because nobody’s immune from the tricky bits of life.