Ryan Reynolds’ Twitter account is a realistic – and often harrowing – journey into parenting, so it was no surprise when the actor popped up on American talk show Good Morning America and spoke (pretty much) everybody’s truth about taking kids on a plane.
“God, that’s hard!”
The star, who alongside wife Blake Lively, introduced his two kids to the world at his Hollywood Walk of Fame red carpet ceremony, noted that he’d previously empathised with the challenges parents faced.
“I’ve always had empathy for parents, especially [when] flying,” Reynolds told Good Morning America.
“Before I had kids, I was always like, ‘God, that’s hard.’ You can see they’re sweating and they’re nervous because their kids are yelling and everyone’s mad at them.”
— Good Morning America (@GMA) March 16, 2017
It’s funny because it’s true
Now that Reynolds is a parent himself, his attitude to flying with kids has escalated to a dread-filled next level. He’s been driven deeper into the life-with-preschoolers abyss, it appears.
“I would rather drink a piping-hot bowl of liquid rabies than get on a plane with my two children,” he told the GMA panel. Oh how they all laughed and nodded.
It seems we’re not the only ones counting down the minutes to hitting the tarmac and pondering Lost-style dream sequences as we clutch small children during a flight.
Reynolds is equally wild-eyed and desperate, patrolling the aisles and just wishing it would all be over right now!
“At 2 years old, they just have to rip all their clothes off and introduce themselves to everyone on the plane. And it’s just like, ‘Please, can we land in a farmer’s field?'”
The dark side of parenting
Reynolds has been regaling his followers with funny and/or cynical tweets about parenting since his daughter James made her appearance.
Some of them are hilarious, some of them are weirdly uncomfortable, some of them are completely Wrongtown.
Still, we’re fairly sure that Reynolds does not care if he’s crossing the line at times, more interested in writing cleverly and wittily in less than 140 characters.
Here’s a little taste of the dad life of Ryan. Complete with toddler tattoos and leather masks… (We know. It’s a joke. Etc.)
Put the baby down in her crib tonight. She scrunched her nose so cute, giggled, then turned into thousands of bats.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 10, 2016
LOVE dressing my daughter in baby clothes. The itsy-bitsy pink pajamas. The tiny white socks. The black leather mask. Cuteness overload!
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 13, 2015
My daughter's only 6 months old and already drawing. I'd hang it on the fridge but honestly, it's absolute garbage.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 19, 2015
Selecting a lower back tattoo for an infant is easy. Finding someone willing to do the work is challenging. https://t.co/8IcMRo21fw
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 11, 2015
I watched Frozen without my two year old this morning. Despair reveals itself in many forms.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) November 9, 2016
Tinder isn't a babysitting app. Apologies to Crystal and Janine for the misunderstanding.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 19, 2016
On our 6am walk, my daughter asked where the moon goes each morning. I let her know it's in heaven, visiting daddy's freedom.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) October 16, 2016
Damn it's hard letting your infant daughter go somewhere alone for the first time. I was a total mess dropping her off at Burning Man.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) September 7, 2016
It's important kids eat 5 servings of vegetables daily. Even if childhood is just a dress-rehearsal for extraordinary adult suffering.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 29, 2016
This morning, my daughter said, "quiche" which means she's smart, hungry and an asshole.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 21, 2016