Mum’s emotional post captures joy and fear of pregnancy after baby loss

blogger Sasha Exeter

This mum’s mixed-feeling-tinged announcement captures the excitement and fear of celebrating a pregnancy after baby loss.

Content warning: This post discusses baby loss

First photo

Lifestyle blogger Sasha Exeter opened up about the excitement and awe she felt when she and her husband spotted their new baby on the ultrasound screen, sharing her “little one’s very first photo.”

“Filled with all kinds of emotion posting our little one’s very first photo and no doubt the most important image I’ve ever posted on Instagram. I’ve looked at this photo about a million times with the same excitement as I did when I first saw the baby jumping around on the ultrasound screen. To think there is a teeny tiny life growing inside me that WE created is just crazy – and kinda sci-fi!”

But the couple were balancing some complicated feelings, too.

Filled with all kinds of emotion posting our little one's very first photo and no doubt the most important image I've ever posted on Instagram. I've looked at this photo about a million times with the same excitement as I did when I first saw the baby jumping around on the ultrasound screen. To think there is a teeny tiny life growing inside me that WE created is just crazy – and kinda sci-fi! After suffering a miscarriage, I kid you not, the happiness of this pregnancy was replaced with so much anxiety and fear in the first 3 mths it's UNBELIEVABLE. Absolutely terrified history would repeat itself…robbing us a bit of the excitement a couple should experience when they are expecting. BUT, with the first trimester scaries finally behind us (wish I could say the same for nausea) we're so excited about our little bean and all that's to come. 🤰🏾👶🏽❤️ #14weekspregnant

A post shared by SoSasha (@sashaexeter) on

“Terrified”

Sasha revealed the very early days of this pregnancy were overshadowed by anxiety, because she’d sadly lost a baby several months earlier.

“After suffering a miscarriage, I kid you not, the happiness of this pregnancy was replaced with so much anxiety and fear in the first 3 mths it’s UNBELIEVABLE. Absolutely terrified history would repeat itself…robbing us a bit of the excitement a couple should experience when they are expecting.”

Sasha opened up about her miscarriage on her blog back in November 2016, in the hope that it might help other women in the same situation.

She admitted that it never occurred to her that she might experience the loss of a baby, and debunking the secrecy and stigma around miscarriage was top-of-mind.

“There’s a private club that exists and none of it’s members want to be a part of it. A “Secret Society”, if you will, that virtually nobody speaks of. Unlike most exclusive clubs where you receive a membership with pride, acceptance into this particular one causes feelings of shame, fear, sadness and anger. “Miscarriage” is the name of the club and I just happen to be it’s newest member. Today, a startling 1 in 3 pregnancies are not viable, meaning thirty-three percent of women looking to become pregnancy will suffer at least one miscarriage. What’s even more scary, the chance of losing a baby only increases with each miscarriage you have.”

 

Miscarriage, like many women's issues, is considered to be taboo and expected to be kept silent. It's like a secret society no woman wants to belong to. After hiding my pregnancy since the summer, I have unfortunately become one of the "1 in 3" women who lose a baby. I've felt a wave with different emotions from sadness, anger, confusion, which is to be expected but to feel embarrassed and lonely shouldn't be necessary when the rates of miscarriage is so high today. That being said, I've decided to open up about it on my blog, hoping I'm able to help other women out there that are feeling isolated and help myself along the way by no longer keeping how I feel inside. Link is in my bio for those that want to read more. 📷: @jessbaumung

A post shared by SoSasha (@sashaexeter) on

Bean on board

Now fourteen weeks into her pregnancy, Sasha is working hard at maintaining an optimistic mindset. She says she’s looking forward to meeting “our little bean”.

“With the first trimester scaries finally behind us (wish I could say the same for nausea) we’re so excited about our little bean and all that’s to come.”

As difficult as it must be to share such a distressing and personal experience, we’re always heartened when women (and men) choose to do so.

Navigating the loss of a baby is not something couples can do alone.

When parents share details of the emotional days, weeks and years that follow loss, it can really help us to unravel complex feelings and find our own stories within.

Thanks to Sasha for that.

If you’re struggling with the loss of a baby, please don’t go it alone. SANDS counsellors are there to support you and provide helpful advice about living with loss.

 

Best day with my best friend ❤️ #SundaysAreForLovers #DrakeDev

A post shared by SoSasha (@sashaexeter) on

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