Lazy, sweary Hatchimals have apparently ruined Christmas for thousands
This year’s sought-after, must-have toy has not been without its post-Christmas dramas, with cross parents taking to social media to out non-hatching and obscenity-uttering Hatchimals.
“We rubbed it for 3 hours”
You may remember that the toys, which retail for around $110 in Australia, were fetching prices closer to $1000 on sites like Gumtree and eBay, as supply dwindled prior to Christmas?
It seems that while hundreds of thousands of those acquired-against-all-odds Hatchimals hatched perkily on Christmas day as planned, some were a little reluctant to bust out of their shells. This left many parents livid and children “upset, disappointed and sad.”
Christmas morning apparently saw many families wildly agitating their toys in an effort to give them life. Sometimes for many, many, may hours. To no avail.
“We rubbed it for 3 hours. Heard the motor spinning and no hatch. No pecking. Sounded like a dead animal trying to spin around but was stuck. We finally took a screw Driver and poked a hole and tricked my daughter telling her it was hatching. FAIL!” Dana Bonahora complained on Hatchimal manufacturer, Spin Master’s Facebook page.
Would not come out of its shell
In scenes that do seem upsetting, but may prompt cries of “first world problems”, children across the globe became disillusioned and disappointed.
“We had to break my daughter’s out of its shell as well. She was crying on Christmas Day!!!!! The one toy she wanted the most and for it not to work properly was so heart wrenching and disappointing to see my daughter upset,” mum Shelley Hull posted.
Many parents eventually turned to online tutorials and brute force to hatch their child’s new “pet”.
“My 6 year old daughter finally tore through her egg. It did not hatch after 24 hours of doing exactly what the instructions, online videos and tutorials told her to. This toy is a complete rip off!!” Jennifer Bambridge wrote.
Out in the cold
Some children endured chilly adversity as they waited for their Hatchimal to spring to life.
“I bought two, stood out on the cold waiting for hours and only one hatch. My other daughter was upset, disappointed and sad that she didn’t get to experience the hatching stage,” posted mum Erika Sourcedo.
(Bonus hint: Bring child inside in the warm.)
To their credit, Spin Masters have been working hard to reply to and resolve the barrage of complaints (which seems to run into the thousands if the Facebook page is anything to go by.)
Wash your beak out
It’s not just lazy, non-hatching Hatchimals that are the butt of post-Christmas anger. Some Hatchimals are apparently surprising their families with non-PG expletives, with owners uploading footage of their sweary toys to social media, in disbelief.
All three of ours are saying “f*** me” while supposedly snoring,” Melissa Earnest posted.
If you watch the video below, you can kind of see what Melissa is referring to. It’s possible the Hatchimal was saying “fuug me” or “foof me” as it snores, but it’s kind of hard to catch. The more we try to hear “f*&k me”, the more we hear “f*&k me.” The power of suggestion is very, very real!
(There are a tonne more Hatchimal cursing videos on YouTube, if you’d like to enter that wormhole.)
While you can teach your toddler or kid Hatchimal to talk, these toys are apparently getting fruity straight out of the packet.
Que?
Some consumers complained of a language barrier as Hatchimal chatter got lost in translation.
“The second one hatched and it only speaks Spanish,” said Cathy Baker Noel.
The Hatchimal maker begged to differ.
“Hatchimals speak their own unique language made of up of random sounds. We can assure you that your Hatchimal is not saying anything inappropriate. They aren’t programmed to speak any other languages.” Spin Master explained, patiently.
So FYI, if you think your Furby Tamagotchi Hatchimal is speaking Spanish, you are profoundly mistaken.
You can guarantee we’ll be keeping a close ear on this story…
