A product called “Girlie Glue” tells us “it’s never too early to be girly”, promising to glue that bow to your baby’s head and confirm their feminine leanings “all day long”. Ugh.
What even is this?
Forget scrapbooking, scrapBUBBING is a thing.
Yes, your tot can be a living extension of your crafty habits with this (completely bonkers) Baby’s First Beauty Aid – because we all know that baby girls are just busting to get all fashion-y and bow-adorned for the general public, y’all.
No more will strangers approach you and your little sweetie, wondering if they’re a girl or a boy. Girlie Glue is here to save the gender-stereotyping day and kick start those unrealistic beauty standards as early as possible. Oh hurrah!
Girlie Glue will helpfully stave off gender queries from little old ladies and others, without the gosh-forsaken bother of saying ‘she’s a girl’. Everyone will apparently instantly know that your bub is a female because you’ve lovingly topped her noggin with a bow and a blob of glue!
— AnzanasTreasures (@AnzanasTreasure) May 23, 2016
You could also use girlie glue to stick feminist slogans on your baby's head. Or just swear words.
— Glosswitch (@glosswitch) March 3, 2017
This actually IS irritating
Don’t worry shoppers, Girlie Glue is made of superfood-y things like agave nectar and “other all-natural ingredients”. Perhaps this helps to avoid rashes and irritations, but we think that this whole product is rash and irritating, truth be told.
Surely we’ve moved past the days of such blatantly naff gender branding?
Hopefully we celebrate little humans for whomever they are, gender aside?
Definitely we know that putting a bow on it is a nutso way to define and decorate our children?
Surely we realise that focusing on some silly ‘girlie’ ideal is selling girls short?
And what if boys want to wear bows too, huh? #CatPigeonsYes
ARE YOU CONCERNED YOUR BABY DOESN’T LOOK LIKE A GIRL YOU SHOULD GLUE FLOWERS TO ITS HEAD PROBLEM SOLVED girlieglue.
— botjaspertandy (@botjaspertandy) February 26, 2017
— Helen Wheels 🎧💬 (@REALHELENWHEELS) March 6, 2017
A bow does not maketh the girl
If you feel the need to announce the gender of your child to the world, maybe just do that. Grab a megaphone, tell the world! “My baby is a girl, everybody! Woot!”
Or say it in a normal voice? Try it now. “My baby is a girl.”
That was easy, right?!
Putting glue on your baby, how ever agave-riddled, seems really ill-advised and uncomfy.
Reducing femaleness to… a bow? That’s gravely underestimating how wonderful girls are.
We are more than bows!!!